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Meditations for When I Don’t Measure Up

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Have you ever felt like you don’t quite measure up? As a homeschooler, I find that I often feel that way. I know some amazing homeschoolers. Some practically write their own curriculum. Some run businesses from their homes while homeschooling three, four, or five children. Some happily chauffeur their children to choir, strings lessons, youth orchestra, Chinese lessons, and painting classes.

But me? I struggle to keep up with the constant piles of laundry. I often feed my family leftovers. My three-year-old doesn’t recognize her letters yet, and my family struggles to stay on key when we sing hymns during our nightly family worship time.

Am I a homeschooling failure? Sometimes I feel that I am. Some days I feel so overwhelmed and discouraged that I can barely scrape my spirit off the floor. Other days my thoughts constantly accuse me—thoughts like I should be more creative in my lessons plans. I should be giving my daughters more extracurricular activities. I should be able to do it all. Why can’t I do it all?

On days like that, I desperately need to recalibrate my thoughts by meditating on God’s Word. Here are a couple of meditations that I constantly find myself going back to.

God’s approval is the only approval I need.

Robin Wood, in her book The Battle Within, challenges women to meditate on 1 Corinthians 4:2–4:

You and I are to be found faithful in pursuing God and reflecting His light to others. We don’t have to waste time trying to determine if somebody else is a successful woman, and it doesn’t matter if other moms judge or criticize us. We know that without God, we are nothing and can attain nothing good. Successfully meeting a list of obligations or merely fulfilling a role is not going to justify us before our Father in heaven. No. We have to know God to know what He wants us to be. When we finally realize that His primary goal for us is to reflect the love of Christ to others, then everything in our lives becomes a tool to that end. (p. 78)

Whenever I consider taking on something new, I always have to check my spirit. Do I want to do it for the right reason, or do I want to do it to gain approval from my peers? Let’s face it. Sometimes others (particularly other homeschool moms) can put a lot of pressure on us to run our homeschools or even our households in a certain way. We should listen to and prayerfully consider counsel from those who are older and more experienced, but before we launch into any new endeavor, we need to make sure that we’re doing so for the right reasons.

God will enable me to do everything He calls me to do.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss, in her book Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free, draws her readers’ attention to John 17:4:

All I have to do is the work God assigns to me. What a freedom it has been for me to accept that there is time for me to do everything that is on God’s “to do” list for my day, for my week, and for my life! (p. 119)

Whenever I find myself discouraged about my ability to “do it all,” I have to remember that I’m not supposed to “do it all.” I only have to do the things that God has called me to do. Usually, during these times of discouragement, I need to evaluate how I am spending my time. Are my priorities getting out of whack? Knowing what my priorities should be is something that requires a lot of wisdom, and therefore a lot of prayer. But it is so soul-strengthening to know that God will enable me to complete the work He has for me.

Homeschool Mom, take heart. You’re not alone in your struggle. Whenever you’re tempted to despair, remember that God is with you, and He has not left you defenseless. Meditate on God’s truths, bathe your days in prayer, and see God strengthen your soul.

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Above the Storm

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billowy clouds in the blue sky

I was aboard a small jet, flying home. On the ground far beneath us were thunderstorms. But above the clouds, the plane was flying through one of the most peaceful, beautiful worlds I’ve ever seen. The clouds spread out in a panorama of white beneath the plane like a blanket of snow. Some clouds towered up like mounds of cotton-candy all around us. The sun’s rays slanted across the billowy masses, turning portions of clouds to pink and gold. I felt as if I were traveling through a fantasy world, a world so soft and still that nothing could ever trouble it. Looking at those clouds from above, no one would ever guess that storms were going on down below them.

This is where I’m supposed to live all the time, I realized. Above the pressures of life, in a world where God’s presence shines on the clouds and where His peace rules.

I pondered that thought as we jetted on through the white, fluffy wonderland. Why is it so hard to live above the daily grind? Why is my vision so easily clouded by the storms of doubt, worry, and frustration with everyday problems? Why do I often live beneath the dark, gray undersides of the clouds instead of up here where I see them as soft, shining pillows on which to lay my head?

There’s a sense in which we choose which side of the clouds we see. We choose the dark underside when we forget to pray. Philippians 4:6–9 reminds us that in order to have God’s peace protect our hearts and minds, we have to come into His shining presence. We have to come with thanksgiving. We have to bring our specific requests to Him instead of succumbing to worry. And then we have to consciously choose to dwell on what is beautiful and true.

I don’t seem to need any help seeing the gray clouds swollen with rain in my sky. But I know I desperately need God’s help to obey, to trust, to love Him with all my mind, and to continually choose the world above the clouds.

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you. (Philippians 4:6–9)

When Am I Ever Going to Use This?

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If your child hasn’t asked this question yet, he will. You probably asked it yourself many times while you were in school. And it is a valid question.

I don’t know many adults who do long division without a calculator or go through the newspaper underlining subjects once and predicates twice.

But consider how many of those grade school subjects have played important roles in your adult life. Were you thankful for your multiplication and division facts while standing in the supermarket last week deciding which brand of detergent to buy? Or when you wrote that important letter for your boss, were you glad you had finally grasped some of those tough spelling words? Did you still think music entirely unnecessary when you had to lead your Sunday school class in the opening singing time?

Depending on our individual fields of interest, we find much of what we learned as children is useful in some way. Even if we never use a particular skill again, learning it builds our overall knowledge and enhances our scope of appreciation. Practice develops our self-discipline, and knowledge develops discernment. How can we communicate this hope-giving truth to children?

Talk about the practical uses of school subjects as you encounter them in everyday life. Around the house, point out the ways you use math: measuring wall space for hanging a picture; adjusting recipes for cooking; balancing your checkbook and paying bills; figuring out medicine dosages; doing simple home repairs or rearranging furniture; measuring and cutting fabric for sewing. Let your child help you do some of these chores as part of his math lesson one day. Or encourage him to count the number of times in a day that he encounters the need for grammar in ordinary tasks—such as making a phone call or writing a journal entry. Have him write a letter to a family member on the computer and use the spell checker to correct his spelling.

For a practical idea on teaching your child how his school subjects may impact his life in the professional world, read How Would I Ever Use This?

How do you share practical uses of school subjects with your child?

Unchanging Truth in Times of Change

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I just had my third daughter. I thought I was prepared for this major life-event. I had listened patiently to all the three-children horror stories people shared with me while I was pregnant. I had anticipated the sleepless nights, the difficulty of scheduling life around feedings and naps, the piles and piles of laundry. I knew it was going to be hard. I knew life was never going to be the same again. I was right.

But somehow, change is always unpredictable. I didn’t anticipate that my newborn would be in constant danger because of two very curious and overly eager-to-help sisters. I didn’t anticipate how difficult it would be to do “normal” things like running to the store for a gallon of milk. My “bring it on” attitude quickly changed to a “take me away, please” attitude as I struggled to juggle three small children, household chores, ministry obligations, and more. Life quickly became exhausting and chaotic.

In the midst of all the upheaval, I found myself taking great comfort in the fact that God never changes. In fact, James claims that with Him there’s not even a shadow of turning. God is still the same God He has been from eternity past. He is still the same God who sent ravens to feed Elijah during a drought (1 Kings 17), who raised a widow’s son from the dead (Luke 7), and who calmed the raging sea (Matthew 8). He is still at work. He is still answering prayers. I can trust him.

Remembering truths about God stabilizes my soul during unsettling times. What truths about God are stabilizing your soul right now?

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External Compliance vs. Heart-Engaged Obedience?

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Christian education is facing a crucial and unsettling time. It has sought for years to lay a thoroughly biblical foundation for students and to impart truth on every hand. But many Christian school students are cold, and even resentful, toward that teaching. As Christian educators, we should try to bring students back to Christianity’s foundation—the truth of the gospel—so that when we address students’ behavior it is motivated by and grows out of our dedication to the gospel.

Since young people sometimes try to define truth by their own subjective perceptions, perhaps we should ask ourselves some questions about what we are teaching them. Are we teaching them the whole truth? Could we actually be dumbing down our presentation of the truth? Amid calls of “Don’t give them doctrine, make it practical!” and an obsession with “principles to live by,” have we maybe lost sight of the basics and unintentionally obscured the person of the gospel, Jesus Christ?

We often respond with more and more behavior-focused instruction when our students’ behavior seems to indicate that they do not understand Christianity. There’s a need to balance our teaching of practical do’s and don’ts with teaching Christ’s perfect sacrifice for us on the cross. Perhaps one reason the gospel has lost its wonder and richness for young people is because of our presentation of the wonderful central figure—Jesus Christ. He is sometimes overshadowed by lesser goals when He should be the focus as well as the motivator behind practical Christian living.

In 1 Corinthians 1:23 Paul also states that there were those (the Jews and Greeks) who found his preaching of Christ unacceptable. Even though the impact of Paul’s ministry on both his own generation and on every generation since is astounding, even Paul’s faithful preaching of the gospel was not welcomed by every person who heard it. The same holds true when we admonish our students. Some will accept it while others may reject the truth.

When faced with such animosity or dismissal of the truth, we may mourn our own lack of power and the great limitations of our flesh that we think make us inadequate to share the gospel that we love. We must remember that God is never frustrated or limited. His promise in Isaiah 55:11 shows that His Word is never “void.” He holds the key to our hearts and has the power to accomplish whatever He intends to—in spite of our sinful nature and wandering hearts.

God alone is able to reach our hearts and those of our students. Whatever work He intends to do in our students’ lives is not impossible. And we can help by trusting in His power, not our own, to guide us as we share His truth through our words and actions.

How do you share the Truth with your students?