encouragement

A Hope-Filled Christmas

December 21, 2017 by BJU Press Writer

Despite the festive, signature red and green of the Christmas season, I was blue—navy blue from head to toe.

It was my first Christmas as a newlywed and my first Christmas away from home.

It wasn’t that we were spending the holiday completely apart from loved ones. My husband’s family was driving eleven hours so that we could all be together. But it simply wasn’t my family. Life was just too expensive for us to travel coast-to-coast to spend the holiday at my folks’ house. So there would be no late-night wrapping marathon with my mom, no curling up with my siblings while Dad read Christmas stories, and no helping the little ones open their gifts and play with new toys.

How could I celebrate without them?

I never expected to ask myself that question. My family always focused on Jesus as “the reason for the season,” manger scenes figured prominently in our Christmas décor, and we read the account of Christ’s birth every year. But here I was feeling like it just wouldn’t be Christmas without my family.

Why was I celebrating Christmas?

In our fast-paced, materialistic society, the Thanksgiving-to-Christmas season is the one time generally set apart for family gatherings. But if Christmas means spending time with family, how can our hearts be merry when the ones that make the season special are so far away?

The first Christmas was also spent with families scattered far and wide—for a census. How vulnerable Mary and Joseph must have felt, so very near the baby’s time of birth but packed nonetheless into a strange city overflowing with people. Squeezed into a stable with the animals of wealthier citizens, the young couple faced Mary’s labor and delivery alone, without the help of mothers or nearby neighbor women.

The Son of God faced a different kind of separation in leaving heaven and His Father’s side to come into the world as one of His frail creatures. “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46) was the cry that rent the heavens some thirty-three years after the night of the angels’ rejoicing outside Bethlehem. Pressed down by the weight of the world’s sins, Jesus Christ experienced the full agony of the separation from God that we deserved.

So why do we celebrate Christmas?

But the story doesn’t end with the separation of the crucifixion. We celebrate Christmas because the Son of God rose from that grave as our conquering Savior. The unbelief and derision from many of those Jesus came to save couldn’t diminish the hope inherent in His coming. The angel had told Joseph, “Thou shalt call His name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins” (Matthew 1:21). Jesus doesn’t just offer hope to every hurting heart; He Himself is the hope people desperately seek. And Christmas is the season of hope because it commemorates the beginning of Christ’s work to reconcile us with God.

So how can we celebrate Christmas when our hearts are weighed down, either by grief over absent loved ones or simply by the stresses of life? We do it by finding joy in one, unchangeable truth—that God gave us Himself that first Christmas. He experienced our separation for us: “He hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows. . . . He was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed” (Isaiah 53:4–5).

The ache of my first Christmas holiday away from my family still lingers these many years later, but because of Christ, I can always have hope. Because of Christ, those who love Him will spend eternity together. And because of Christ, Home is waiting—the Home and family we’ll never be separated from again.

Take One Step at a Time

September 14, 2017 by BJU Press Writer

The race is on! You can see it in their frantic pace as people rush through stores, barrel down the roads, dash to appointments, and “eat and run.” It’s a race to finish everything in as little time as possible, and if you’re not going at breakneck speed, you’ll lose.

And we homeschool mothers often feel even more pressure to perform.

Not only have we foregone what the world terms “meaningful employment” (whose definition, please?), but we also feel the disapproval of those critical onlookers who—rather than encouraging us—merely wait for us to mess up. And so our race gets trickier because we wear all the hats of a homeschooler—Schoolteacher, Principal, Secretary, Cook, Janitor, Guidance Counselor, Chauffeur, Nurse, Coach—in addition to the normal one of Mother.

Yet other moms we know seem to take it all in stride. Where do they find time for those cute projects, handwritten cards, and even regular workout sessions? Do we simply need to “get our act together”? They’re running laps around us in the same twenty-four hours that we can’t even fit housework into! And at the end of the day, it seems that no matter how hard we try, we can’t keep up with the pace that “other moms” set with their organization, creativity, or thriftiness.

Thankfully, God judges our performance according to a different—eternal—checklist. And what all does He expect us to accomplish in today’s twenty-four hours? We find it beautifully and simply expressed in Micah 6:8:

“What doth the Lord require of thee,
but to do justly, and to love mercy,
and to walk humbly with thy God?”

In doing justly and loving mercy, we reflect God’s own character. But notice that He doesn’t specify the receivers of this justice and mercy. The justice and mercy aren’t invalidated in His eyes if our sole audience members are children. And what about the “walk humbly with thy God” part? We may want to spend more time in Bible reading and prayer, but what if we can barely find time now?

That’s what is so lovely about this verse in Micah. Walking is a very humble activity. It’s usually not very fast, doesn’t require any special equipment, and appears in many different forms. But it still comes down to putting one foot in front of the other, God giving His strength and us giving the will.

Walking can allow us time to enjoy the journey and take in the sights or perhaps to carry on a conversation or sing praises. It can be very strenuous or enjoyable, depending on the terrain, weather, and other factors. The walker can multitask or simply stroll, but ultimately, walking is still just walking. Not standing still. Not sitting down.

Walking is taking one step at a time in a definite direction.

But did you notice that God doesn’t specify how fast we are to walk? He simply says we must walk with Him. Does God expect us to keep up with the moms in our groups or the people from church? No, He expects us to walk with Him.

But what if . . .
We feel we aren’t getting to our destinations fast enough?
We have only the strength for one more step?
The only walking we do seems to be behind little ones, cleaning up their catastrophes?
We can’t even walk on our own but must lean on the arm of a friend or loved one?

Whatever our circumstances, His “still small voice” whispers simply, “Walk with Me.” Like physical walking, it’s a very humble and humbling activity, this walking with God. It, too, requires no special equipment and appears in many different forms. But still it comes down to spiritually putting one foot in front of the other, surrendering one care, offering one prayer at a time, and trusting that He will help us take the next step.

So maybe you don’t have time to make cupcakes from scratch for that moms’ meeting, maybe the laundry room looks like a war zone, or maybe you would be excited just to get a shower.

Whatever you’re facing, just remember that the only checklist that matters is God’s.

God told you to walk with Him, not be a triathlete, so concentrate on taking that next step. Don’t berate yourself for not accomplishing things He doesn’t require of you. Instead, reach out your hand to hold His as you walk, and you’ll be better able to hold the little hands that reach for yours.

My 5 Favorite Things to Give a Homeschool Mom

May 4, 2017 by Guest Writer

As thunder roars and lightning flashes, seven children huddle around Maria. In a strange new place, she must comfort these frightened kids, ranging in age from preschooler to teenager. She rises to the occasion with one of The Sound of Music‘s best-known songs, “My Favorite Things.” Maybe you or someone you know is having a “Maria moment”—a time when you need a bit of encouragement in the form of a favorite thing. Here are some of my favorite things to give my fellow moms!

#1: A Piece of Chocolate

Whether it comes in neat squares or gooey bars, chocolate is one of God’s greatest gifts to woman. Studies show that dark chocolate actually increases blood flow to the brain, enhancing your mood through endorphins and improving your reaction time and problem-solving abilities.

#2: A Part of Nature

Gather an armful of blooms from your backyard or fill vases with green boughs collected from a nearby forest. Just looking at God’s beautiful creation and breathing in its freshness may be enough to lift someone’s spirits.

#3: A Pocketful of Change

A little spending money is a lovely gift for a homeschool mom who spends all her resources on her children. Is a woman you know struggling to keep her head above the homeschool waters? Hand her a gift card to her favorite store or coffee shop, and watch her eyes light up.

#4: Playthings for the Kids

Sometimes, all a homeschool mom wants is a few minutes of quiet time. Put together a bag of inexpensive items like puzzles, glow sticks, books, and playdough and deliver it to a homeschooling family you know. While the children dive into the delights of the bag, the mom enjoys the gift of ten to fifteen minutes all to herself.

#5: A Pampering Kit

Few homeschool moms have the time to hit the spa. One of my favorite gifts to receive or to pass along is a personal spa kit. You can put all kinds of delights into a basket—nail polish, a nail file, softening cream for calluses, a homemade foot scrub, bath soak, essential oils, or soft slippers.
With a few dollars and a little thoughtfulness, you can help another mom weather one of life’s storms.

What would you add to this list of favorite things? Tell me in a comment.

• • • • •

Rebecca is a work-at-home freelance writer, novelist, wife, and the mom of two bright-eyed little ones. She credits her success in writing and her love of books to her own mom, who homeschooled three kids from pre-K through high school.

Hope for a Weary Soul

January 26, 2016 by Megan

I knew we were in trouble as soon as I heard the sound of my daughter’s cackling laughter. When the sound of a toilet flushing joined the laughter only a heartbeat later, I was already heading toward the stairs.

My daughter stopped laughing. She called out a worried “Mommy?” that was hardly reassuring.

I felt the crisis, quite literally, when I reached the top of the stairs. There was water on the floor. This was bad.

When I finally reached the scene, I discovered that my daughter had unrolled almost an entire roll of toilet paper and had tried to stuff it all down the toilet. Now the toilet was seriously clogged and was overflowing.

The moments that followed my discovery were not some of my best moments. I frantically called my husband, and he told me how to turn off the water. That solved the most pressing crisis. But I was still left with a mess. And a very frustrated heart.

By the time my husband got home that evening, I was in tears. I felt like a failure, not an “I-tried-a-new-recipe-that-was-a-complete-flop” failure, but a soul-crippling one. I was battle-weary, not just from dealing with three disobedient children all day, but from dealing with my own sinful self. I felt like I had utterly failed at being a mom. I was sure that I was ruining my children.

This sense of failure hung on for a while. I would feel it when I would go to church and see other moms who, from my perspective, had it all together, or when I checked my social media accounts. Clean houses. Fancy dinners. Little girls in gorgeous, hand-sewn dresses. Fun (and educational!) activities. These perfect pictures of seemingly perfect families taunted me and cultivated my own sense of personal failure.

Then one Sunday morning, my husband gave me a copy of The Battle Within by J. Robin Wood. That book, which I started reading the very day I received it, was a balm to my battered soul. Even the forward gave me hope:

I am convinced that marriage and motherhood are extreme tests of selflessness. I am also convinced that every woman who enters these responsibilities is unprepared for the extent of the selflessness required, and that we are doomed to failure if we try to succeed by ourselves, in our own strength, and for our own happiness.

But there is hope—an absolute rock-solid truth. God is faithful. His Word is powerful and full of comfort. And there is help—real, credible support.

We have everything we need in His Word and through His Spirit to defeat the power of our personal Supermom—our own sinful nature.¹

The author of this book is very much like me. She’s a stay-at-home mom with three very young children and is trying to juggle the responsibilities of helping her husband, training her children, and ministering to the body of Christ. She’s very transparent—from the very first pages of the book you realize that she’s not perfect in any of those roles. That transparency was very comforting to me. It helped me realize that I’m not alone in my struggle.

But the author didn’t just offer me a sympathetic “I’ve been there too” pat on the back. She pointed me to the only path to victory, God’s Word. She urged me to look deep within my own soul, to confess my sin, and to renew my mind continually with Scripture.

For as long as I am in this world, I’m going to struggle against my sinful flesh. I’m going to fail. But, as Robin Wood reminds readers, I’m not alone. God truly has given me all that I need—not just to defeat sin but to encourage my heart day by day.

If you or someone you know is struggling under the weight of responsibility that motherhood brings, I would strongly recommend The Battle Within.

¹ J. Robin Wood, The Battle Within: What Being a Mom Taught Me About Myself (Greenville, SC: JourneyForth, 2015), i–ii.

Encouraging the Weary Homeschool Mom

October 1, 2015 by Guest Writer

tea cup with tea bag and dustpan in the background

On a faraway mission field in a land of hardened hearts, my mother labored day after day to teach my siblings and me all the things we would need to know for a successful, Christ-focused life. Through bitterly cold autumns and long, frozen winters, she pressed on, certain of her mission. Now and then there was a desperate note in her voice during morning prayer and a heavy sigh or two as she balanced housework with lesson plans. Notes, calls, or visits from friends always lifted her spirits, giving her the boost she needed to keep going.

Somewhere near you, there’s a homeschool mom with that hint of desperation in her eyes, that weary slump to her shoulders. There’s a worn-out young mother who has only just begun to teach her babies the ABC’s. With encouraging words, a simple gift, or a few hours of your time, you can be the hand of God to your homeschooling sisters in Christ, helping them through a time in their lives that is as exhausting as it is joyful.

1. Offer Your Help

When your friend who homeschools gets that weary look in her eye, get creative with offers of help. Maybe you can take that stack of books back to the library for her, and while you are there, pick up some new books that suit the family’s reading philosophy and fit the reading levels of the children. After assuring her that her house and yard look amazing, you may tactfully offer to pitch in with bathroom cleaning, vacuuming, weeding, raking, or anything else that she needs.

2. Give Her a Treat

Like many other moms, I wake up to tiny hands pulling at my legs, constant demands for explanations and help from the older child, and a house that seems to grow ever-deepening piles of laundry and stacks of dishes. Amid all the things that I do for everyone else, I often forget to care for myself. The same is true of young moms and homeschool moms the world over. A visit from a friend, who comes bearing a cup of specialty coffee or a box of soothing herbal tea, may make the difference between a bad day and a blessed one. If your budget allows, offer your friend a gift certificate for a manicure and pedicure or a full spa day.

3. Schedule a Field Trip

If the two of you are close friends, offer to take her children out for the day on an educational field trip. If you both homeschool, the setting should be one that works for both sets of children, given their ages and any special needs. The zoo, a local farm, a museum, or a nature preserve are all excellent options. While you and the munchkins are out, your friend can clean and organize the house─or stay in her pajamas in bed with a good book, enjoying a much-needed day off.

4. Combine Classes

If a field trip is not an option because of weather, location, or other factors, consider combining your families for a joint homeschool class. For something new, try the one-room-schoolhouse style with everyone in the same room, from the tiny learners to the older ones. Special topics and hands-on learning games make the experience even more fun. It may not be relaxing, but the change of pace will refresh you and your homeschooling friend and give you the opportunity to understand each other’s burdens a little better.

5. Support Her with Words

Tell her that you believe in what she’s doing. Whether your family chose to homeschool or not, tell her that you support her God-given passion to educate her little ones at home. Tell her again, in different words. Tell her in writing. Tell her with a homeschool mom mug, and then with a tote bag, and then with an e-card that simply says, “I’m praying for you today.” She needs to hear it often from those she loves and trusts.