BJU Press Blog

mom to mom

Take One Step at a Time

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The Next Step
The race is on! You can see it in their frantic pace as people rush through stores, barrel down the roads, dash to appointments, and “eat and run.” It’s a race to finish everything in as little time as possible, and if you’re not going at breakneck speed, you’ll lose.

And we homeschool mothers often feel even more pressure to perform.

Not only have we foregone what the world terms “meaningful employment” (whose definition, please?), but we also feel the disapproval of those critical onlookers who—rather than encouraging us—merely wait for us to mess up. And so our race gets trickier because we wear all the hats of a homeschooler—Schoolteacher, Principal, Secretary, Cook, Janitor, Guidance Counselor, Chauffeur, Nurse, Coach—in addition to the normal one of Mother.

Yet other moms we know seem to take it all in stride. Where do they find time for those cute projects, handwritten cards, and even regular workout sessions? Do we simply need to “get our act together”? They’re running laps around us in the same twenty-four hours that we can’t even fit housework into! And at the end of the day, it seems that no matter how hard we try, we can’t keep up with the pace that “other moms” set with their organization, creativity, or thriftiness.

Thankfully, God judges our performance according to a different—eternal—checklist. And what all does He expect us to accomplish in today’s twenty-four hours? We find it beautifully and simply expressed in Micah 6:8:

“What doth the Lord require of thee,
but to do justly, and to love mercy,
and to walk humbly with thy God?”

In doing justly and loving mercy, we reflect God’s own character. But notice that He doesn’t specify the receivers of this justice and mercy. The justice and mercy aren’t invalidated in His eyes if our sole audience members are children. And what about the “walk humbly with thy God” part? We may want to spend more time in Bible reading and prayer, but what if we can barely find time now?

That’s what is so lovely about this verse in Micah. Walking is a very humble activity. It’s usually not very fast, doesn’t require any special equipment, and appears in many different forms. But it still comes down to putting one foot in front of the other, God giving His strength and us giving the will.

Walking can allow us time to enjoy the journey and take in the sights or perhaps to carry on a conversation or sing praises. It can be very strenuous or enjoyable, depending on the terrain, weather, and other factors. The walker can multitask or simply stroll, but ultimately, walking is still just walking. Not standing still. Not sitting down.

Walking is taking one step at a time in a definite direction.

But did you notice that God doesn’t specify how fast we are to walk? He simply says we must walk with Him. Does God expect us to keep up with the moms in our groups or the people from church? No, He expects us to walk with Him.

But what if . . .
We feel we aren’t getting to our destinations fast enough?
We have only the strength for one more step?
The only walking we do seems to be behind little ones, cleaning up their catastrophes?
We can’t even walk on our own but must lean on the arm of a friend or loved one?

Whatever our circumstances, His “still small voice” whispers simply, “Walk with Me.” Like physical walking, it’s a very humble and humbling activity, this walking with God. It, too, requires no special equipment and appears in many different forms. But still it comes down to spiritually putting one foot in front of the other, surrendering one care, offering one prayer at a time, and trusting that He will help us take the next step.

So maybe you don’t have time to make cupcakes from scratch for that moms’ meeting, maybe the laundry room looks like a war zone, or maybe you would be excited just to get a shower.

Whatever you’re facing, just remember that the only checklist that matters is God’s.

God told you to walk with Him, not be a triathlete, so concentrate on taking that next step. Don’t berate yourself for not accomplishing things He doesn’t require of you. Instead, reach out your hand to hold His as you walk, and you’ll be better able to hold the little hands that reach for yours.

Don’t Just Google It: Seeking Counsel Mom-to-Mom

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Image of two moms drinking hot chocolate and having a conversation at the table.

It was our first house, and it needed some work. One of our first projects was tearing out the old stained carpet in the master bedroom. At a carpet store, we browsed the rolls of discounted carpet pieces, and the salesman convinced us to purchase a lonely roll that was supposedly of much higher plush quality than the other colors. The only problem—the color was white. At the time, we didn’t think having white carpet was a big deal, but we didn’t realize it would spotlight every speck of black sock fuzz and every minor stain.

We have all made major or minor decisions that we now regret. We might have avoided them had we taken the time to ask those with more experience for advice. Proverbs is full of instructions about seeking counsel from others, as in Proverbs 15:22 (NKJV): “Without counsel, plans go awry, but in the multitude of counselors they are established.”

As I begin homeschooling, I want to intentionally seek out advice from wise mothers. Whether they’ve homeschooled their children or guided them through traditional school, they can lead me down a time-tested route and warn me about detours or potholes.

When I have a question about homeschooling, my first inclination, as a child of the digital age, is to Google it. While I’m thankful for the convenience and wealth of information online, I want to guard against the dangers of wasting time and having information overload. Before I realize it’s dinnertime, I have forty-six tabs open on my browser with opinions of people I don’t know from Adam.

If I lived fifty years ago and had a question on teaching or raising my children, the obvious course would have been to pray about it, talk with my husband, and call a trusted friend or relative. While the Internet brings the world together, it threatens to isolate us from true relationships. I know many wise, godly mothers that I can go to for counsel, and many of them happen to be homeschool moms as well. By approaching them, I’m going to sources I trust, and I’m building relationships with women who can encourage me and pray for me.

Seeking personal counsel is worth the extra effort, and integrating our lives with other believers’ lives is the biblical pattern. In Titus 2, the apostle Paul encourages the older women to mentor the younger women so that their lives might honor God’s Word. He told Titus to teach

the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things—that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. (Titus 2:3–5 NKJV)

So what about you? How have you found ways to balance the convenience of online information with the value of a trusted advisor? How do you balance social media with face-to-face relationships ?