BJU Press Blog

homeschool mom

Take One Step at a Time

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The Next Step
The race is on! You can see it in their frantic pace as people rush through stores, barrel down the roads, dash to appointments, and “eat and run.” It’s a race to finish everything in as little time as possible, and if you’re not going at breakneck speed, you’ll lose.

And we homeschool mothers often feel even more pressure to perform.

Not only have we foregone what the world terms “meaningful employment” (whose definition, please?), but we also feel the disapproval of those critical onlookers who—rather than encouraging us—merely wait for us to mess up. And so our race gets trickier because we wear all the hats of a homeschooler—Schoolteacher, Principal, Secretary, Cook, Janitor, Guidance Counselor, Chauffeur, Nurse, Coach—in addition to the normal one of Mother.

Yet other moms we know seem to take it all in stride. Where do they find time for those cute projects, handwritten cards, and even regular workout sessions? Do we simply need to “get our act together”? They’re running laps around us in the same twenty-four hours that we can’t even fit housework into! And at the end of the day, it seems that no matter how hard we try, we can’t keep up with the pace that “other moms” set with their organization, creativity, or thriftiness.

Thankfully, God judges our performance according to a different—eternal—checklist. And what all does He expect us to accomplish in today’s twenty-four hours? We find it beautifully and simply expressed in Micah 6:8:

“What doth the Lord require of thee,
but to do justly, and to love mercy,
and to walk humbly with thy God?”

In doing justly and loving mercy, we reflect God’s own character. But notice that He doesn’t specify the receivers of this justice and mercy. The justice and mercy aren’t invalidated in His eyes if our sole audience members are children. And what about the “walk humbly with thy God” part? We may want to spend more time in Bible reading and prayer, but what if we can barely find time now?

That’s what is so lovely about this verse in Micah. Walking is a very humble activity. It’s usually not very fast, doesn’t require any special equipment, and appears in many different forms. But it still comes down to putting one foot in front of the other, God giving His strength and us giving the will.

Walking can allow us time to enjoy the journey and take in the sights or perhaps to carry on a conversation or sing praises. It can be very strenuous or enjoyable, depending on the terrain, weather, and other factors. The walker can multitask or simply stroll, but ultimately, walking is still just walking. Not standing still. Not sitting down.

Walking is taking one step at a time in a definite direction.

But did you notice that God doesn’t specify how fast we are to walk? He simply says we must walk with Him. Does God expect us to keep up with the moms in our groups or the people from church? No, He expects us to walk with Him.

But what if . . .
We feel we aren’t getting to our destinations fast enough?
We have only the strength for one more step?
The only walking we do seems to be behind little ones, cleaning up their catastrophes?
We can’t even walk on our own but must lean on the arm of a friend or loved one?

Whatever our circumstances, His “still small voice” whispers simply, “Walk with Me.” Like physical walking, it’s a very humble and humbling activity, this walking with God. It, too, requires no special equipment and appears in many different forms. But still it comes down to spiritually putting one foot in front of the other, surrendering one care, offering one prayer at a time, and trusting that He will help us take the next step.

So maybe you don’t have time to make cupcakes from scratch for that moms’ meeting, maybe the laundry room looks like a war zone, or maybe you would be excited just to get a shower.

Whatever you’re facing, just remember that the only checklist that matters is God’s.

God told you to walk with Him, not be a triathlete, so concentrate on taking that next step. Don’t berate yourself for not accomplishing things He doesn’t require of you. Instead, reach out your hand to hold His as you walk, and you’ll be better able to hold the little hands that reach for yours.

My 5 Favorite Things to Give a Homeschool Mom

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hot-chocolate-in-Montsalvat-Melbourne-gifts

As thunder roars and lightning flashes, seven children huddle around Maria. In a strange new place, she must comfort these frightened kids, ranging in age from preschooler to teenager. She rises to the occasion with one of The Sound of Music‘s best-known songs, “My Favorite Things.” Maybe you or someone you know is having a “Maria moment”—a time when you need a bit of encouragement in the form of a favorite thing. Here are some of my favorite things to give my fellow moms!

#1: A Piece of Chocolate

Whether it comes in neat squares or gooey bars, chocolate is one of God’s greatest gifts to woman. Studies show that dark chocolate actually increases blood flow to the brain, enhancing your mood through endorphins and improving your reaction time and problem-solving abilities.

#2: A Part of Nature

Gather an armful of blooms from your backyard or fill vases with green boughs collected from a nearby forest. Just looking at God’s beautiful creation and breathing in its freshness may be enough to lift someone’s spirits.

#3: A Pocketful of Change

A little spending money is a lovely gift for a homeschool mom who spends all her resources on her children. Is a woman you know struggling to keep her head above the homeschool waters? Hand her a gift card to her favorite store or coffee shop, and watch her eyes light up.

#4: Playthings for the Kids

Sometimes, all a homeschool mom wants is a few minutes of quiet time. Put together a bag of inexpensive items like puzzles, glow sticks, books, and playdough and deliver it to a homeschooling family you know. While the children dive into the delights of the bag, the mom enjoys the gift of ten to fifteen minutes all to herself.

#5: A Pampering Kit

Few homeschool moms have the time to hit the spa. One of my favorite gifts to receive or to pass along is a personal spa kit. You can put all kinds of delights into a basket—nail polish, a nail file, softening cream for calluses, a homemade foot scrub, bath soak, essential oils, or soft slippers.
With a few dollars and a little thoughtfulness, you can help another mom weather one of life’s storms.

What would you add to this list of favorite things? Tell me in a comment.

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Rebecca is a work-at-home freelance writer, novelist, wife, and the mom of two bright-eyed little ones. She credits her success in writing and her love of books to her own mom, who homeschooled three kids from pre-K through high school.

4 Teaching Tips from the Master Teacher

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Wouldn’t it be nice if teaching were like a science experiment or a math equation? You could do A and B, and then C would always result. It would be nice if teaching a specific way would result in perfect knowledge and understanding in your kids—every time! Yet even wonderful teachers with great skills still have students who struggle.

Sometimes, as a homeschool mom, you may feel like asking the same question that Jesus asked His disciples—”Do you not yet understand?” (Mark 8:21, ESV). You can’t always control the results of your teaching, but you can continue to improve your teaching strategies so that you can communicate concepts to your kids more effectively. In fact, the Bible is full of helpful strategies used by the Master Teacher, Jesus Christ, as He taught the most important lessons of all.

An Example to Follow

Think about the way Jesus presented the same truths in different ways to different groups of people. Sometimes He simply presented the facts; sometimes He told stories; other times He used actions or demonstrations to reveal truth and help it sink in for His followers. As you teach your children, you’ll learn more about the way each one of them learns best, and you’ll discover new techniques and strategies that yield better results.

A Familiar Foundation

Jesus often began his teachings by referring to the law and the Old Testament, something His Jewish listeners were very familiar with. From that starting point, He would reveal new knowledge or delve deeper into a concept.

Everyone learns better when the learning starts in a familiar place. If you can begin with something that your children already know or enjoy, you can then build new knowledge on that foundation. If they’re having trouble mastering a new concept, return to those basic familiar ideas to help them build the confidence and skills they need to move ahead.

A Clear Goal

Kids often ask, “What’s the point of learning this? How I am ever going to use it?” Good teaching communicates goals clearly. When Jesus taught, He constantly presented His followers with the goal—the kingdom of God and His work of redemption. Many of His talks and parables related to the kingdom of God and how true citizens of that kingdom should live.

Every time you teach your children a new lesson, let them know what you plan to cover within that lesson. Tell them why it’s important and what they will eventually be able to do with that knowledge. Having a goal and a purpose keeps them engaged and excited.

An Awareness of Learning Styles

Keep in mind that each one of your children learns differently. Some learn better by listening, others by reading, and others by acting or doing. Lessons that incorporate two or more of these learning methods are typically more effective. As He taught the crowds of people around Him, Jesus told stories and used everyday objects to illustrate the lesson. As much as possible, you can connect the abstract concepts of each subject back to your child’s daily life and activities. Those tangible, real-world connections help them process and retain the information better.

So what works most effectively for your children? Do they learn best by sight, sound, or activity? Are they working on each lesson with a clear goal in mind? Your insight into your children’s personalities and abilities enables you to teach according to their needs, which is the key to helping your children realize their full potential.

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Rebecca is a work-at-home freelance writer, novelist, wife, and the mom of two bright-eyed little ones. She credits her success in writing and her love of books to her own mom, who homeschooled three kids from pre-K through high school.

What Am I Accomplishing with My Time?

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The other night I collapsed in bed after a long, exhausting day and took stock of my accomplishments. I couldn’t come up with much. Yes, I had sent two loads of laundry through the washer and dryer, but there were at least another three loads waiting for their turn. Yes, I had picked up dozens of stray toys and socks off the floor, but most of my house still looked like a disaster zone. Yes, I had spent over an hour fixing dinner, but three picky eaters had almost refused to eat it. It had been a discouraging day but not an unusual one.

As a stay-at-home homeschool mom, my days are filled with a lot of busyness. I stay plenty busy teaching as well as facilitating our Distance Learning courses. I never lack for dishes to wash, laundry to do, meals to make. But despite all the busyness, I rarely feel like I accomplish much.

On days like these, I often have to remind myself that my accomplishments are not always visible nor are there ever enough hours in the day to do everything. It’s essential for me to choose to spend my time doing the “best” things, the things that God wants and that will count for eternity. Here’s the list of “best things” that I try to focus on.

My Need for a Close Relationship with God

I can’t afford to cheat on this one—ever. For me, this means that I have to pull myself out of bed at 5:25 every morning. But the thirty minutes or so of quietness that I get to spend reading my Bible and praying is well worth it. This time fortifies my soul for all the craziness and unexpected turns of each day. (Psalm 119 records the myriad of ways that God’s Word benefits us, and in Psalm 145:18, God promises to be near those who call on Him.)

The Needs of My Husband

If my husband asks me to do something, that “something” moves to the top of my priority list once I’ve had my time with the Lord. It doesn’t matter whether the request involves making a phone call, sewing on a button, or taking the car in for an oil change. By making his needs my priority, I’m getting a chance to demonstrate love and submission. (Colossians 3:18 commands this of me!)

The Needs of My Children

My children have physical, spiritual, and emotional needs that take up a lot of my time. Sometimes it’s hard to pause my dinner preparations or my cleaning sprees and take the time to figure out the cause of an argument, patch up a scraped knee, or help a child through a challenging math problem. But when I readily put aside my own “to do” list, I’m demonstrating love and compassion to my children. (Titus 2:4 admonishes me to love my children, and John 15:12–13 helps me understand what true love really is.)

The Needs of Other Believers

Paul admonishes believers to “do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith” (Galatians 6:10). Sometimes that might mean I cook extra so that we can take a meal to someone who needs it. Sometimes it might mean I let someone borrow our things. Other times, it might mean I take a few minutes to write someone a quick note of encouragement. The time I spend on these tasks is not wasted. It gives me a chance to exercise my spiritual gifts and show love to my brothers and sisters in Christ.

The Needs of the Unsaved

Every week my family and I minister at a Bible club for kids. Most of the children do not attend church and don’t know much about the Bible. Some come week after week. Others we only see once or twice. Whatever time that we have with these kids is precious because it is an opportunity to plant the seed of the gospel (or perhaps to water it). Again, I don’t consider this time wasted. Not only is it a good opportunity to teach my own children about ministry, but it’s also an opportunity to fulfill the Great Commission Jesus gave us to go and make disciples (Matthew 28:18–20).

Depending on your situation in life, your list of “best things” may look very different from mine, and my list certainly isn’t perfect. I struggle daily to keep my work properly balanced. Thankfully, I can claim the promise of James 1:5 and rest in the fact that God will give me wisdom about how to spend my time if I ask Him. He’ll give you that wisdom as well. So take some time at the beginning of this new year to prayerfully consider how God would want you to use the time He’s given you.

Encouraging the Weary Homeschool Mom

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tea cup with tea bag and dustpan in the background

On a faraway mission field in a land of hardened hearts, my mother labored day after day to teach my siblings and me all the things we would need to know for a successful, Christ-focused life. Through bitterly cold autumns and long, frozen winters, she pressed on, certain of her mission. Now and then there was a desperate note in her voice during morning prayer and a heavy sigh or two as she balanced housework with lesson plans. Notes, calls, or visits from friends always lifted her spirits, giving her the boost she needed to keep going.

Somewhere near you, there’s a homeschool mom with that hint of desperation in her eyes, that weary slump to her shoulders. There’s a worn-out young mother who has only just begun to teach her babies the ABC’s. With encouraging words, a simple gift, or a few hours of your time, you can be the hand of God to your homeschooling sisters in Christ, helping them through a time in their lives that is as exhausting as it is joyful.

1. Offer Your Help

When your friend who homeschools gets that weary look in her eye, get creative with offers of help. Maybe you can take that stack of books back to the library for her, and while you are there, pick up some new books that suit the family’s reading philosophy and fit the reading levels of the children. After assuring her that her house and yard look amazing, you may tactfully offer to pitch in with bathroom cleaning, vacuuming, weeding, raking, or anything else that she needs.

2. Give Her a Treat

Like many other moms, I wake up to tiny hands pulling at my legs, constant demands for explanations and help from the older child, and a house that seems to grow ever-deepening piles of laundry and stacks of dishes. Amid all the things that I do for everyone else, I often forget to care for myself. The same is true of young moms and homeschool moms the world over. A visit from a friend, who comes bearing a cup of specialty coffee or a box of soothing herbal tea, may make the difference between a bad day and a blessed one. If your budget allows, offer your friend a gift certificate for a manicure and pedicure or a full spa day.

3. Schedule a Field Trip

If the two of you are close friends, offer to take her children out for the day on an educational field trip. If you both homeschool, the setting should be one that works for both sets of children, given their ages and any special needs. The zoo, a local farm, a museum, or a nature preserve are all excellent options. While you and the munchkins are out, your friend can clean and organize the house─or stay in her pajamas in bed with a good book, enjoying a much-needed day off.

4. Combine Classes

If a field trip is not an option because of weather, location, or other factors, consider combining your families for a joint homeschool class. For something new, try the one-room-schoolhouse style with everyone in the same room, from the tiny learners to the older ones. Special topics and hands-on learning games make the experience even more fun. It may not be relaxing, but the change of pace will refresh you and your homeschooling friend and give you the opportunity to understand each other’s burdens a little better.

5. Support Her with Words

Tell her that you believe in what she’s doing. Whether your family chose to homeschool or not, tell her that you support her God-given passion to educate her little ones at home. Tell her again, in different words. Tell her in writing. Tell her with a homeschool mom mug, and then with a tote bag, and then with an e-card that simply says, “I’m praying for you today.” She needs to hear it often from those she loves and trusts.

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Rebecca is a work-at-home freelance writer, novelist, wife, and the mom of two bright-eyed little ones. She credits her success in writing and her love of books to her own mom, who homeschooled three kids from pre-K through high school.