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A Default Setting of Gratitude

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learning gratitude

Have you ever had to change your phone back to its default settings? Usually this happens when you’ve used and filled your phone to the point that it begins to malfunction; a reset to default settings often fixes whatever hiccups or problems it may have picked up. Remove all the extra noise and clutter of your customizations, and you restore the phone to a state of greater digital purity.

What if we took time to reset the focus of our hearts—a way to return to a default setting of renewed thinking and greater gratitude?

The Slide into Self-Pity

Left to itself, even a redeemed heart tends to drift towards self-pity and complaining. When it comes to giving thanks, it is easy to rehearse the good things—health, family, provisions. Yet too often we fail to express gratitude because our minds are taken up with the people and situations that trouble us.

To change our default setting to gratitude, we need to begin by thanking God for the things that bother us, not just the ones that we enjoy. Tough situations are often God’s gifts to reveal and change some unsanctified part of our hearts.

Sinking or Swimming?

One summer I was particularly unhappy with God because He prevented me from participating in the Christian camp where I longed to work. Instead, He gave me the opportunity to teach preschoolers how to swim. Day after day, under the scorching Phoenix sun, I was trying to get screaming toddlers to enjoy blowing bubbles and putting their faces in cold water.

Torn between their fear of the water and their desire for independence and control, they would push away, thrash around, or clamp onto me—even pinching me with their little toes. After a lesson or two, they had relaxed a bit and were delighted to let me bounce them around while I made motorboat noises or pretended to be a human washing machine. Eventually they learned that swimming lessons were great fun, that the water would hold them up, and that I would not let them drown.

Week after week, God gave me new students who screamed and cried and pinched. Finally I realized that God was trying to show me what I looked like to Him. I had my heart set on a specific ministry that was not open to me. I could continue my adult version of the toddler tantrum, or I could relax and trust Him to teach me how to stay afloat and actually enjoy the ministry He had given me.

The Bigger Plan

Once I understood that, I was able to identify with the children and thank God for them. They were showing me what I looked like as well as giving me insight into God Himself. I, a relative stranger, wanted to teach these kids the skills they needed to survive, and I wanted them to enjoy themselves too. Would God my Father want any less for me? So I surrendered my anger and went back to a default setting of thankfulness.

During the time I was working in aquatics, I renewed all my certifications as a Red Cross instructor for swimming, lifeguarding, CPR, and first aid. Later, those credentials gained me a place of ministry for the entire next decade at the very camp where I had wanted to work that summer.

God’s ways are above ours. We may never understand His methods, but we can always trust His motives. To reset and refresh our hearts, we have to clear out the clutter of busyness, worry, and self-pity. It’s time to go back and fix our minds on God’s truth and rest in a state of gratitude.

Several Bible studies published by JourneyForth are about topics Esther mentions in this post. Check out No Matter What You Can Rejoice, A Life Surrendered, and Refresh Our Hearts.

The Thankful Spot

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Celebrating our blessings on a special day is a wonderful thing to do, but how do we teach our children to be grateful every day? How do we train them to see God’s hand in the little blessings as well as the big ones? Check out this Thanksgiving activity that offers weeks of thankfulness and fun for the whole family. It helps children develop an attitude of gratitude—and grownups may find it refreshing too!

1. Find a Thankful Spot

Remember how Winnie the Pooh had a “Thoughtful Spot”? Well, it’s time to find your family’s Thankful Spot! Is there an area of your home that everyone can view easily? Perhaps the refrigerator door, a wall near the front door, or the bathroom mirror? You could even use each bedroom door as the owner’s personal thankful spot.

2. Create Thankfulness Pages

Feel free to design your own pages, or use our handy printable “Days of Thankfulness.” You’ll need one copy for each person in your home. At the top of the “Days of Thankfulness” page, ask each child to write his or her name and the number of days till Thanksgiving.

3. Display the Pages

Now you’re ready to post the pages in your Thankful Spot. Younger children may have trouble writing on the paper while it is posted vertically on the wall, so you’ll need some way to remove the lists easily each day. Consider using painter’s tape to attach the lists to a door or wall, or use push pins to affix them to a bulletin board or cork board.

4. Add to Your Lists Daily

Remind everyone in the family to write something in one of the blank spaces on his or her list each day. For the first day, ask your kids if they can think of someone special in their lives, someone they’re thankful for. On the second day, they can write down something they like to eat. The third day, prompt them to think about a kind of technology that is useful or enjoyable. There are thirty items on the list, enough for a whole month—but you can keep the fun and thankfulness going as long as you like!

5. Set Aside Time to Be Thankful

Every day—at whatever time of day works best for your family—take a few minutes for everyone to share what (or who) you’re grateful for. Then pray together, expressing your gratitutde to God. You could do this every morning before you begin your homeschool day; or if mornings are too hectic, you could visit your Thankful Spot during lunch break, at suppertime, or in the evening before bed.

Explore Other Creative Ways to Be Thankful

There are other fun ways to stay mindful of all the great things God has given! You can make a paper tree and tape it to the wall in your homeschool classroom. Every day, have your children write some things they’re thankful for on colorful paper leaves, and tape those leaves to the tree branches.

You can also teach the letters of the alphabet and their sounds while being thankful! On the first day, ask your kids to think of something they are thankful for that begins with the letter A. Continue with a new letter each day until you reach Thanksgiving!

Even the littlest blessings are God saying “I love you” to His children. As you help your children find a new “thankful” every day, remember to seize those teachable moments to tell them more about the One who loves them best of all.

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Rebecca is a work-at-home freelance writer, novelist, wife, and the mom of two bright-eyed little ones. She credits her success in writing and her love of books to her own mom, who homeschooled three kids from pre-K through high school.

Truth in Action: Biographies that Teach Principles

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Biographies
Most homeschool parents realize the value of using biographies as a teaching tool to complement what their kids are learning. By reading biographies, your child can gain a much better understanding of how the people of a specific time period walked, talked, dressed, worked, and played; however, there is another important use for biographies—the teaching or reinforcement of Christian principles. As Jonathan Edwards put it, “There are two ways of representing and recommending true religion and virtue to the world—the one, by doctrine and precept; the other, instance and example.”

Biographies in Your Homeschool

While your child is reading about a particular historical era in Heritage Studies, introduce a book about one of the notable figures of that time. The biography might be about a Christian statesman or a missionary who served during that era. A biography of a notable scientist, such as Madame Curie, might pair well with your child’s studies in chemistry. A book about a brilliant Christian mathematician might inspire your child to strive for excellence in algebra.

Homeschool families can use biographies to reinforce their teaching of the Bible on almost any grade level. For example, if the child is reading in Acts about the missionary journeys of Paul, he can read some stories from the lives of famous missionaries including William Carey, Adoniram Judson, or John and Betty Stam.

The Popular Biography

To keep the kids engaged, it’s a good idea to choose “popular biographies” close to their grade level. These biographies draw information from reliable secondary sources and then dramatize the stories a bit with description and dialogue. A popular biography is designed to be a story about real-life events, rather than a report.

One example of a popular biography is With Daring Faith by Rebecca Davis. This book, written for children ages nine to twelve, focuses on a central theme—the faith that spurred Amy Carmichael to serve on the mission field of India. The biography handles Amy’s rescue of enslaved children with delicacy so that children can become familiar with the story and learn from it at an age-appropriate level. Another biography for the middle grades is Mary Slessor: Missionary Mother about the tough Scottish missionary to Africa. For younger readers (ages seven to nine), consider These Are My People about the life of Gladys Aylward

The Fictionalized Biography

Fictionalized biographies center on genuine historical figures but include fictional characters and dialogue. The Hawk That Dare Not Hunt by Day by Scott O’Dell is a work of historical fiction about the life of William Tyndale suitable for teens.

The Critical Biography

Another kind of biography is the critical biography. The book doesn’t necessarily criticize its subject; the term critical means that the work is based on original sources such as letters, papers, or interviews and contains scholarly citations. A critical biography concentrates on presenting all aspects of its subject, good and bad. Parents and teen homeschoolers can enjoy reading and discussing critical biographies such as Merle d’Aubigné’s The Triumph of Truth: A Life of Martin Luther.

Fill up your family library with informational books as well as good fiction, and add in some quality Christian biographies. Stories of faith in action will provide your students with real-life illustrations of scriptural truth.

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Rebecca is a work-at-home freelance writer, novelist, wife, and the mom of two bright-eyed little ones. She credits her success in writing and her love of books to her own mom, who homeschooled three kids from pre-K through high school.

The Pressure of Preschool

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Preschool Playing“My son can already write his name!” says a proud mother. “My daughter is not quite four, and she has just learned to read!” says another. One mom shrinks back into her seat, wondering if she’s doing something wrong. Should her son or daughter be reading at age three or four? Should her two-year-old be learning to form the shapes of letters?

For decades, parents have felt the pressure to hurry their preschoolers’ learning. They don’t want their children to be left behind. For homeschool parents, the pressure is even greater. They may feel that the world is looking at them more critically, ready to point out any perceived underachievement. If you’re feeling the pressure to teach your child more aggressively or to start kindergarten early, consider these important factors.

Rates of Development

Babies learn to crawl, walk, and talk at different rates; there is no ideal timetable. It’s the same for preschoolers and kindergarteners. Some will learn to read quickly; others will catch on to math concepts; and others may simply be interested in movement and play. Trying to force a child to mature more quickly can lead to behavioral issues and a dislike of learning.

Freedom to Grow

Kids need time to invent, explore, and create. They need space to run, jump, and climb, especially during the formative preschool and kindergarten years. Giving them the freedom to experiment, discover, and move through their world builds their confidence and their ability to solve problems—things that will prove valuable when they begin their homeschool years.

Perceptions of Potential

If you stress reading too early, you might become frustrated and discouraged; you may even think that your child doesn’t have the potential to be a great reader. That’s not necessarily the case; he may simply be operating on his own schedule.  Instead of frustrating yourself and your child, wait until the time is right to begin a more organized style of homeschooling.

Statistical Proof

A study published by the National Bureau of Economic Research revealed that delaying kindergarten for a year had remarkable benefits for children. Kids who were seven when they started formal instruction were measurably more attentive and less hyperactive at age eleven than kids who began kindergarten at the “normal” age of five or six. The kids who started kindergarten a year later had more time to learn self-control and mental focus before beginning their school career.

Preparation for Kindergarten

You can introduce your child to text and numbers in many age-appropriate ways. There are numbers on calendars, clocks, mile markers, your house, and store receipts. Words are everywhere—on cereal boxes, toys, storefronts, street signs, letters, and clothes.

When you read storybooks together, ask your little ones to show you the pictures and point to text. You are developing your child’s “print awareness” which is a prerequisite to phonics instruction. Where are the characters? What are they doing in the picture? What will happen next? It’s a fun way to engage with your children and start teaching them about story components and progression without getting too academic.

Maybe your little ones would enjoy dictating stories or letters for you to write down and read aloud. These activities emphasize the relationship of thought to oral and written language. And if those little bodies start to get wiggly, maybe it’s time to switch to another kind of education—learning through play.

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Rebecca is a work-at-home freelance writer, novelist, wife, and the mom of two bright-eyed little ones. She credits her success in writing and her love of books to her own mom, who homeschooled three kids from pre-K through high school.

7 Ways to Help Your Child Be a True Friend

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making a friendHaving friends—and being a friend—is important for every child. Good friends provide emotional support, companionship, and love. They help your children to develop social graces and to understand people with backgrounds and perspectives different from their own.

Becoming a good friend doesn’t happen by accident; like many important skills, it requires some guidance and training. Whether you choose to educate your children at home, in a private or Christian school, or in public school, teaching your child how to be a true friend is part of your role as a parent.

1. Greeting People

The best way to make a friend is to be one.  As the Bible says, “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly” (Proverbs 18:24). Does your child know how to start and end a conversation? Is he or she comfortable approaching and greeting new people or familiar acquaintances? Before a social situation, you can be your child’s coach and offer some tips about making new friends and greeting old friends.

2. Paying Attention

Is your child relaxed when talking to others? Does he or she remember to smile? Teach your child how to ask questions and take an interest in what others are saying. Help him or her learn to make good eye contact with someone during a conversation.

3. Practicing Social Graces

Purposely place your children in settings that compel them to use social skills. If a child is shy or uncomfortable in certain situations, invent fun ways to role-play those scenarios at home until he or she feels more comfortable.

4. Explaining Etiquette

Depending on their age and permitted use of technology, your children should be able to compose a congenial letter or email to a friend, as well as send a polite, correctly spelled text. Role-play the correct way to answer the phone or close out a phone conversation. To teach the proper etiquette to use at a party or another social event, why not host a pretend dinner party, complete with invitations and RSVP cards?

5. Sacrificing Self

Friendships are not one-sided but should enrich, inspire, and help both people in the relationship. A genuine friend puts time, love, and effort into the relationship, without the expectation of being repaid. Christ said, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). For younger kids, that idea of self-sacrifice could begin with sharing toys or participating in games that the other person wants to play.

6. Learning Value

Teach your children to treasure their friends. Those friendships enrich your kids’ lives and personalities, as well as allowing them to share their gifts and blessings with others. Expressing gratitude to a friend through a note, an email, or a phone call is a wonderful way to teach your kids to appreciate their friends.

7. Praying to Their Best Friend

God is the most important friend your children will ever have. Jesus told his disciples, “Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you” (John 15:14). Through prayer, Bible reading, and obedience to God’s Word, your kids can have a close friendship with their Creator.

While perseverance, creativity, and intelligence help determine a child’s pathway in life, creating quality friendships may be just as crucial to future success. Even the Lord Jesus had His friends on earth, including the twelve disciples and others, with Peter, James, and John being His closest earthly relationships. With your help, your children can begin learning the value of making and keeping true friends.

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Rebecca is a work-at-home freelance writer, novelist, wife, and the mom of two bright-eyed little ones. She credits her success in writing and her love of books to her own mom, who homeschooled three kids from pre-K through high school.