BJU Press Blog

Learning Together: The Heart of Teaching

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learning together is the heart of teaching
Go back in time with me. Remember that moment—it may have been 20 years ago, or maybe it was a few months ago—when you started to seriously think about what this crazy homeschooling thing would look like for you. You had a picture in your head of you and your kids learning together. Maybe you saw your children huddled in your arms as you read to them. Maybe you saw books scattered on a table, forgotten, as you talked over the moral implications of the Civil War. Or maybe you saw yourself on a nature walk with your children, looking at birds, flowers, or the shapes of clouds together.

When that image came to you, you probably weren’t thinking about why you homeschool or what you hope to accomplish in the next twelve or more years. It was just a little dream of what your journey might look like day-to-day. And you know what the most important part of your dream was? You and your kids working together to learn something. That’s really all that education has ever been—teachers and students learning together.

But the problem is, there’s usually only one of you. When looking for solutions to their homeschool needs, many parents believe that the best resources are ones that their children can use completely independently. Just give the kids the textbook and let them go. Textbooks can be a key part of your homeschool, but they’re not the most important piece. A textbook just can’t replace what you can offer your children as a personal, involved teacher.

Children miss out when they only have a textbook.

You hear a lot about learning styles and customizing your children’s education to their needs. But the truth of the matter is, there’s no magic formula or combination to tell you how your child learns. No child is strictly a tactile learner, strictly a verbal learner, or strictly an auditory learner. Some kids are genuinely good at learning by reading from a textbook, but not all are. In fact, few can learn well from using only a textbook.

Most kids can’t just sit down with a book and siphon up information. They have to work with it to get it. They need to squish it through their fingers, taste it on their tongues, watch it bounce around, and hear what other people think about it. And a book can’t do all that. A book can present information, ask questions, give assignments, or even suggest activities. But it can’t hold a conversation or let a child really experience the information. Even a well-designed textbook will leave your children wanting if that’s all they have for their education.

If you’re involved in their learning process, you can customize their education. When you’re working one-on-one with your children, you’ll know which activities will help them learn and which won’t. It’s not about assigning every activity and hoping that doing them all will help them learn. It’s about picking the ones that are best for your child.

You can encourage understanding through communication.

When I was in high school, I remember moments when a teacher would misspeak or write the wrong number up on the board. Or there were times when students misheard or misunderstood something. When the class was comfortable and open with the teacher, the misunderstanding was usually something minor to fix. All we had to do was ask a clarifying question and we could move on. But there are some students who don’t feel comfortable asking simple questions. Who don’t want to interrupt no matter how confused they are.

Children need someone guiding them through their lessons to help them through moments of confusion. Someone they trust, who they can communicate with easily. My teachers weren’t always good at recognizing when they’d lost a student, but when you’re working directly with your children, learning together, you can usually tell when they’re following or when they’re still two pages behind.

It’s time for a reality check.

Now, we’ve been talking about an ideal—how things should be, and how things are meant to be. But we need to take a good hard look at how things are. Is this one-on-one teaching really possible for you? How many students are you teaching? How much time do you really have to devote to teaching your children yourself? If you’re going to have to spend 20 to 30 minutes teaching per subject and per child, then there’s no way you’ll have time for much of anything besides teaching, especially if you’re teaching more than 3 children. And that’s why you might want to allow your kids to work independently sometimes.

But remember that this isn’t school at home. You’re not confined to teaching specific subjects to specific children at specific times. You can shape your homeschool so that you can realize that dream you had when you started. And so that you and your children can go forward learning together. What will that look like? That’s up to you. It could mean year-round homeschooling. Or it could mean supplementing your teaching with video courses. Maybe it means forgetting about grade levels and teaching everyone together. The point is, it’s up to you how you make it work.

One-room school houses didn’t work because of government regulations and state standards. Having the right rules in place has never been the thing that makes classrooms work. They work because there’s a teacher invested in the lives of the students. At the end of the day, a textbook is just a tool. What children really need is for someone to direct them and partner with them in learning. And who better than you?

The Value of Handwriting Skills: Keep Writing

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the value of handwriting skills
With technology always available, there are many skills we might think would become obsolete. Handwriting skills among them. After all, if we can type emails with our thumbs or dictate messages on our phones, what’s the point of writing something with our hands? And if there’s no point in keeping the skill, why should we have our kids learn it?

Is handwriting still a vital skill to train? As many homeschool parents know, things aren’t always as they seem. There’s more to handwriting skills than just putting pen to paper.

Handwriting skills are linked to motor skills.

One critical reason to encourage handwriting is the motor skills it develops. Handwriting challenges the writer to integrate gross motor skills, fine motor skills, and visual motor skills. Gross motor skills are the basic, larger muscle functions we use on a daily basis. Can your child maintain maintain posture and grip a pencil? Fine motor skills make small, subtle manipulations. Is your child able to write different words on a piece of paper? Mastering these skills helps children produce clear and consistent written work. Finally, visual motor skills are what we know as hand-eye coordination. How well can your child write what he sees?

Encouraging your children to learn and master handwriting requires them to use all three skill sets to process, understand, and copy what they see. Using all three skills together enables them to comprehend and use the information they learn each day.

Handwriting has a greater impact on us and other people.

The act of writing out our thoughts and what we hear is helpful in engaging in the learning process. As your children write, they’re using those motor skills as well as their mind to process information in a new format. Studies show that writing helps memory more than just typing on a computer. If your children keep their writing skills sharp, they will retain more of what they learn and function better on a daily basis.

Writing also often has a greater impact on other people than something typed. In an age of instant communication, taking the time to craft a handwritten note can mean so much more to the person reading. Handwriting is personal. You invest time to choose words and write carefully. A text or email takes seconds to punch out. If you teach your children to write personal messages to friends and family, they learn to communicate with more depth and intentionality than typing an email or sending an instant message.

Fluency in handwriting opens artistic potential.

One more reason that handwriting is important is that the skills go beyond everyday use. True, we can create all sorts of fun and interactive designs with our digital software. But often a Scripture verse or quote can come alive to you if you write it in an artistic form like calligraphy. Part of stewarding our creativity is using it to help us focus on God and remember His truths. Have you seen people Bible journaling by pulling out verses that have touched them and writing them in a beautiful script in the margins of their Bibles? Handwritten calligraphy, more than just an elegant typed font, can help us meditate and integrate valuable truths in our lives. By encouraging your children to hone artistic skills, you’re also giving them another tool to use to meditate on Scripture and encourage others.

Even though handwriting may be less common today, its impact on the reader is no less powerful. Training your children to write well and write clearly can help them be more influential as they grow older.

• • • • •

Matt recently graduated with an MA in communication studies and currently works as a freelance writer. He attributes the wild variety in his current opportunities to the exploration his parents gave him through the homeschooling experience. He enjoys theater, the gym, and choral music and will rarely say no to a cold glass of sweet tea.

Tips for Keeping Kids on Task

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keeping kids on task
Keeping your children on task in their schooling can be a challenging job, but there are ways to encourage productivity that will help both you and your children. A couple weeks ago, we asked moms on our Facebook page to share their tips for encouraging their kids to stay on task during the school day. We thought we’d share some of their suggestions with you here!

Keep Them Accountable to Each Task

Some children may struggle to focus if you are not beside them. One mom commented on our Facebook post that her daughter works better when she is not alone in her room. She says, “Mine usually does her work . . . with me while I am working and she zips right through it. In her own room she gets distracted and it’s harder.” Another way to help them be responsible for their own time management is to schedule checkpoints throughout the day when you will review their progress. You can set specific goals for them to work on in between check-ins so they know what to expect. If they’re not making those goals, you can also see if they’re struggling. You’ll know when they need help and encouragement to continue.

Remove Distractions

We all know that distractions eat away at a productive school day. Electronics, toys, siblings, pets—all of these can become distractions. How do you eliminate screen-related distractions if you use screens for schoolwork? One way to remove distractions for children who do school on electronic devices is to block pop-up notifications on the screen they are working on. You can also add accountability by making sure the screen they’re working on faces the center of the room. Other distractions such as as toys, games, siblings, or pets can be just as disruptive as electronics. Instead of removing these distractions entirely, offer them during breaks as rewards for hard work. Some moms encourage these other interests by incorporating their children’s favorite games or topics into their lessons.

Offer Regular Breaks

We’ve all had that day when things never seem to stop or slow down. At the end of the day, we may actually scream if anyone asks us to do one more thing. Children will feel the same way when endlessly confined to school work. Downtime is an important part of everyone’s day. One mom shared how she breaks up her kids’ days, “For every 3 items on their list (they have a daily checklist showing all the school they need to do that day) they get a break to play. They seem to focus and stay on task so much better knowing exactly how much they have to do before each break.”

Try setting goals and tasks to work on in short intervals and then give a short break before working again. One productivity method recommends 25 minutes working hard without distractions and then a 5 minute break. During breaks, encourage your kids to stretch, eat a snack, go to the bathroom, or anything else that makes them get out of their seat. I use this method frequently to stay on task and get more done in a shorter amount of time.

Offer Encouragement for Completing a Task

In addition to suggesting frequent breaks, one mom recommends “words of affirmation and snacks they enjoy during the hard parts of the day like Math and Science.” Encouragement can be a powerful tool for keeping your children on task! My piano teacher would give prizes after her students gained points from practicing, passing songs, and playing in front of people. I looked forward to reaching those prizes and would work harder to get there. Remind your children that you recognize and appreciate their hard work. Along with verbal affirmation, rewards like snacks will encourage them and help them focus! Another mom told us she gives her daughter something to look forward to at the end of the day. She says that, during the winter months, getting “to play outside—sledding, skating, skiing, building snow forts, etc.—when the work is done” is “good motivation.” Setting specific goals for your children to meet and then giving them incentives for reaching them can be very effective.

Children may struggle to stay on task no matter how hard we try. But don’t be discouraged! You know your children and their needs. Embrace the journey and remember that homeschool education is about your children and not a to-do list.

Communication: The Key to Parenting

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communication is key
As homeschooling parents, we understand the importance of clear communication. If our children don’t get what we’re trying to teach them in school and life, they’ll struggle academically, socially, and spiritually. We also understand that we have more opportunities than others to develop good communication with our children. We have them home with us all day. Each day we have hundreds of opportunities to create healthy communication habits for ourselves and for them. We all have room for improvement in our communication habits, so let’s look at some tips to help us become better communicators.

Just Saying

First, know what you want to say. You’ve heard the old adage, “Say what you mean and mean what you say.” That’s a good rule to follow! Be as clear as you can when telling your children what you expect them to do. For example, there’s a big difference between saying “finish your math” and saying “do problems 1 through 10 on page 30.”

If we don’t tell our children exactly what we expect from them, they’re likely to get confused and frustrated. Also, we can’t always assume that our children understood or even heard all of our instructions. Distractions—other children, pets, a large house, or guests—can override what you’re trying to communicate. A good way to make sure they understand is to ask them to repeat what you just told them.

Location, Location

Be mindful of where you are and what’s going on around you. Background noises in the room you’re in, or another room, can make it much harder for your children to hear and understand what you say, or vice versa. As often as possible, try to be in the same room as your children when you’re talking. Of course, that goes without saying when you’re teaching, but it’s a good practice to have all the time. It can be fun to holler down the hallway to talk, but not at the expense of clear communication.

Focus, Please

We’re surrounded by things that suck up our attention and block out the rest of the world. Buzzing phones and blaring TVs, crying children, dishwashers, washing machines—there are so many noises surrounding us at all times. Those noises can be the death of clear communication. If you want to have a meaningful conversation with your children, make sure you have their full attention. If they’re distracted while you’re talking to them, chances are, they won’t remember what you say.

On the flip side, make sure your children have your full attention when they want to talk to you. Texting, talking on the phone, scrolling through Facebook or checking email can wait when your children are trying to talk with you. They need to know you care enough to stop, look them in the eye, and listen. If you have to finish a text or an email before you can give your full attention, use a signal to let them know that you know they want to speak and that you’ll stop and listen to them as soon as you can.

Watch Your Tone

How we say something is just as important as what we say. It can be hard to teach children how to control their tones, especially if we struggle to do the same ourselves. Our tone of voice can communicate something entirely different from our words, and it certainly affects the way our children respond to us and how we respond to them. Children are excellent at picking up on attitudes and thoughts we have hidden in our tone. As impatient or frustrated as you might be with a situation or a certain kind of behavior, remember that letting that frustration into your tone will change the meaning of everything you say. A reminder to finish homework can come across as a punishment or an expression of disappointment—even if you didn’t mean either.

Remember the exhortation in Colossians 3:21. According to the Amplified Bible’s translation, it says, “Do not provoke or irritate or exasperate your children . . . so they will not lose heart and become discouraged or unmotivated [with their spirits broken.]” One unkind remark can undo hours of loving instruction. One snappy retort can erect a wall of resentment between you and your child. We must rely on the power of God to help us. Only He can master our tongues (and voices) so the law of kindness can reign in them. And when we do speak in a harsh tone of voice, we need to make it right as soon as possible. Immediately confess it to the Lord and ask your child to forgive you. Yes, it’s humbling (as I can well testify!), but if we are to maintain a right relationship with our children, it’s imperative. The best way to show our children how to control their tongue is to become masters of our own.

Communication in Body Language

If you have a teenager, you’re more than aware of how frustrating it is when your children roll their eyes or sigh at everything you say. It’s like they’re shouting “I don’t care what you say” or “you can’t tell me what to do.” In addition to our tones, what we’re saying, and our environment, we also need to be mindful of what we’re communicating through facial expressions, posture, and gestures. And we need to help our children understand what their bodies communicate, too.

How we use our bodies while we’re talking can influence our conversations in either a positive or negative way. For example, try not to cross your arms, roll your eyes, sigh, shake your head, or tap your foot during a discussion; all of these gestures can undermine healthy communication. By using positive gestures, like nodding or leaning forward, we can encourage a healthy conversation despite what either party might be feeling.

The Main Goal for Communication

Remember the purpose of communication: to glorify God by building others up with our words. God has given us the gift of language so we can encourage, motivate, and inspire others toward greater Christlikeness. He has also given us His own Word, Holy Spirit, and power to guide our communication. A wonderful scripture to pray each day is Psalm 19:14, “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.”

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Jennifer is a pastor’s wife and mom of two young girls and loves homeschooling them. During her own twelve years of being homeschooled, Jennifer developed a passion for reading and writing. She earned a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and relishes writing during her free time.

Treating Cabin Fever with Scriptural Truths

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treating cabin fever
Cabin fever. We’ve all had it—that awful sensation that the walls of our home are about to close in on us or maybe even collapse altogether because of the noise level of our children. Our family experienced it last winter when we received heavy rainfall for nine days in a row.  You may even be experiencing it now because of the weather, prolonged sickness, or other challenges.

Unfortunately, cabin fever often brings out the worst in us and our kids. We become impatient. We complain, act with selfishness, and stir up strife. It gets pretty ugly.

How can we cope with cabin fever?

There’s a lot of practical things we as moms can do. We can hop on Pinterest and collect ideas for all kinds of indoor crafts and games, or we can search online for local indoor events. We can fill the time with read-alouds, technology, and enrichment activities. We’re homeschoolers—we’re good at that kind of thing.

But simply filling the time doesn’t fix our problem. Because at its core, our problem is not due to our circumstances. The problem is not the nine consecutive days of heavy rainfall. The problem is the discontentment festering in our hearts and in the hearts of our children. And only meditation on the truths of God’s Word will truly help us. Here are a couple of scriptural truths to remember.

1. God is in charge of the weather.

Psalm 135:6 states, “Whatsoever the Lord pleased, that did He in heaven, and in earth, in the seas, and all deep places.” Dr. Layton Talbert, in his book Not by Chance: Learning to Trust a Sovereign God, writes:

In all these various spheres, the elements of earth are the tools of providence. He controls the clouds, the lightning, and the wind for His ends (Psalm 135:7)—fire and hail, snow and clouds, stormy winds all fulfill His word (Psalm 148:8) and respond to His commands (Psalm 147:15-18). Do you suppose that has any practical relevance for our attitude toward the weather? (p. 11)

2. God sends periods of affliction for our benefit.

A couple of months ago, my family was housebound for almost two weeks because of a relentless stomach virus. It was miserable. But it was also a time of unexpected blessing because during those long days, I was very aware of God’s grace to me personally.

Psalm 119:71 states, “It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.”

God often sends periods of prolonged sickness or other difficulties into our lives in order to teach us more about Himself. Rehearse those lessons to yourself and to your children. They will surely brighten your outlook!