BJU Press Blog

Character

Invisible Subjects: Taking Time for Heart Matters

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heart matters with mom
On paper, your homeschool day is neatly scheduled, but you probably didn’t schedule the following:

  • 9:15 a.m.—Kindergartener throws his pencil down, saying, “I just can’t write the letter s.”
  • 10:22—Fifth grader protests when her little brother wants to join in her science experiment.
  • 1:05—First grader covers his ears defiantly rather than listen to you explain the math problem he completed incorrectly.
  • 1:12—Third grader keeps daydreaming instead of completing her worksheet.
  • 2:47—Ninth grader complains, “Why do I have to learn algebra if I’ll never use it in real life anyway?”

Heart matters are the invisible subjects that we often sweep aside. If I’m focused on checking off the school subjects on my daily plan, I’m likely to let attitude issues frustrate me rather than seeing them as a prime opportunity to help my children mature in working through these invisible subjects in a way that honors God.

Heart Detector

When the ear-piercing smoke alarm interrupts my dinner-making, I don’t ignore it or take out its batteries—I check to see what’s burning. Similarly, an outburst from a child should prompt me to action, not merely to move on from the interruption but to address the heart matters.

Since I tend to be task-oriented, my natural reaction is to feel irritated at the disruption. If I respond to my children’s frustration by getting frustrated myself and demanding results, they will feel the hypocrisy. So I need to adjust my perspective before I can help my child adjust his or hers.

Often when I’m dealing with an attitude problem with a child, it brings to the surface heart matters of my own to acknowledge and address, such as impatience. Homeschooling means Mom is enrolling herself in the school of patience!

Heart Shepherd

How can I shepherd my child’s heart when she has gone astray into a thicket of thorns? It might take some loving and firm shepherding before she’s receptive to counsel. Once I have helped my child calm down, I can purpose to follow-up, so we can discuss character from a biblical perspective:

  • Creation: God created us to give Him glory (sorry, throwing a fit doesn’t do that).
  • Fall: The reason we fall short of glorifying God is that we are children of Adam (Romans 5:12).
  • Redemption: We can be born again as children of God through faith in His Son (John 3:3–8).

Countless other topics might be helpful, such as discussing the sovereignty of God. He is in control, allowing situations in our lives for good (even that pesky little brother), though we may not understand it at the time. Ask your child questions such as, “What do you think you can do if you begin to feel upset about this again? Are there any Bible verses that can guide you?”

Heart Keeper

Next time you’re making tea, notice that it’s the flavor of the tea—whether bitter or sweet—that seeps out of the tea bag when you add hot water. Similarly, “hot water situations” reveal what’s in our hearts. We must be depending on the Lord in prayer so we can rejoice in trials, respond wisely, grow in steadfastness, and glorify God (James 1:2–5).

While academics is important, that kind of learning will come more easily if we help our children succeed in the invisible subjects, keeping our hearts diligently.

Keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life. (Proverbs 4:23)

Meet Nick Newton

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Jumping into the world of Nick Newton is like waking up in a faraway place in an imaginary era. The abundance of intriguing gadgetry immediately establishes Nick Newton Is Not a Genius by S. E. M. Ishida as fanciful. But there’s something captivatingly simple and wholesome about this family of eccentric artists and inventors that will remind readers of a bygone era.

The story opens with everyone trying to decide what to do about Nick. His application to genius school has been rejected, leaving his parents scrambling to find an alternative source of quality education for him. (Being a non-genius makes him somewhat of a novelty in his family.) After observing the limited success of homeschooling conducted by the family’s butler, Nick’s parents decide to place the fifth grader in the school of a Mr. Solomon Volk, who was himself a bit of an academic misfit and whose school is run almost exclusively by robots.

Robotics is not new territory for Nick Newton. Having found a robotic bird in pieces in his attic, he reassembles it and takes it for his personal pet. So Nick feels right at home in the Volk Institute. But his school days are soon marred by a tragic error in judgement that ultimately unites him and his teacher in a common cause—the quest for a mechanical heart. Uncertain as to whether a prototype still exists, they embark on a determined search that leads them to an untidy mansion, a lonely widow, and the name Draicot. Never could Nick have anticipated the history he would uncover in their search and how the discovery would help him piece together certain elements of his own life.

Chock full of respect for family values, brimming with the-sky’s-the-limit creative energy, and ending with the satisfying triumph of the extraordinary, Nick Newton Is Not a Genius by S. E. M. Ishida is a launching pad to send the imagination of your young reader soaring!

Discipling Younger Children

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text of Proverbs 8:33

Godless Days

What do you think of when you’re challenged with the grand task of discipling the next generation—especially when they’re not even out of lower elementary yet? Although there’s great potential, there are also numerous pitfalls. Increasing godlessness isn’t a figment of the imaginations of hysterical prudes; it’s a reality in the progression of the biblical story. Paul describes these last days for Timothy (2 Tim. 3:1–5, 12–13; cf. Rom. 1:28–32), but he also assures Timothy that there is an antidote (2 Tim. 3:14–17). Making sure children are founded in the Word can’t wait until they’re teens or young adults; the stabilizing discipleship in the Word must begin now.

Goal

What is character? What is Christlikeness? Character is the inward reality of a person’s integrity. It’s more than what a person does; it’s who that person is. (However, who a person is will be manifested in what that person does.) Thus, Christlikeness must be at the root of character. Teaching character doesn’t necessarily lead to Christlikeness, but Christlikeness will produce good character. The primary goal must be to lead our children to establish a relationship with Christ by bowing the knee and confessing Him as Lord (Phil. 2:6–11) so that they can have the mind of Christ (2:5) and demonstrate the working out of their salvation in Christlike character in the midst of a perverse world (2:12–16).

Groundwork

What’s your role if you’re a teacher (rather than the child’s parent)?

  • Involvement with parents—communication, reinforcement, and partnership. Plan and build into your busy schedule ways to bolster these things beyond a once- or twice-a-year parent-teacher conference.
  • Building trust with your students. Show them that you understsand and care about the struggles they’re going through; find ways to encourage and help.

Guidance

Thinking on your feet may not be your forte. Plan ahead to apply the wisdom of the Word to the daily situations of life that arise on the spur of the moment. This is how younger kids learn the Bible’s wisdom. Every situation is an opportunity to provide examples of the pithy wisdom of Proverbs or Jesus’ teaching. Immerse yourself daily in the Word (or even memorize it) so that you can have an automatic response to their spiritual needs as situations come up. Start with the proverbs, the Beatitudes, the fruit of the Spirit, the love chapter (1 Cor. 13), or the essential virtues of 2 Peter 1:5–8. These daily practical reminders from pithy scriptural wisdom will be more powerful and lasting than any of our feeble human reasons or bargaining for obedience.

What opportunities have you found to disciple your children or students?