Megan

The Dangers of Comparison

February 15, 2018 by Megan

“Homeschool moms are like bullies. They can be brutal to each other.”

Ouch. My friend’s blunt statement shocked me a bit, but I knew it was true, at least to a degree. My own heart’s wounds bore testimony, and, if I were really honest with myself, I knew I had probably inflicted wounds on other moms’ hearts too.

Sometimes my wounds came from direct hits—someone would say something that would sting, that would make me want to run and find a quiet place to weep. Sometimes the hits were more indirect as I struggled with being left out of some of the homeschool subgroups around me.

But none of those wounds compare to the ones that I continually inflict on myself. The ugly truth is that I am my own biggest bully through comparison.

Discouragement and Defeat

A lot of my heart-wounds have come from comparing myself to other people. I’m very good at uncovering the ways I come up short in comparison to others. So my thoughts are too often filled with if onlys. If only I were smarter, prettier, more in shape, had better-behaved children and so on, things would be so much better. These lies do nothing but provide fuel for my feelings of discouragement and defeat.

Pride

Of course, comparing myself with others sometimes has the opposite effect, puffing me up with so much pride that I can’t see myself clearly. Sins go unnoticed and unconfessed. My relationships suffer. The damage is awful.

Fighting Comparison with the Gospel

So how do I fight back against my inner bully? By skillfully wielding the sharp, two-edged sword given to me by my heavenly Father—His Word. I must saturate my mind with the Bible if I am to have any hope of victory at all.

My best defense when I am tempted to compare myself with others is to meditate on the gospel. The gospel reminds me that I am precious in the sight of God—so precious that He paid the ultimate price for my redemption. I may not be as pretty as Mary, as smart as Jane, or as organized as Susan, but with all my faults and failings, I am beloved by my Father in heaven.

The gospel also reminds me that without Christ, I am nothing. So what if I excel in a particular area? All those feelings of self-righteousness are filthy rags before an all-holy God.

Comparison is a dangerous business. If you struggle with this like I do, I highly recommend the book The Battle Within by J. Robin Wood. She includes scriptural battle plans for fighting off pride and other damaging emotions as well as showing how to deal biblically with the expectations that we place on ourselves. If you’re interested in learning more about how this book has helped me, check out my earlier post “Hope for a Weary Soul.”

Playing with Spelling Words

February 1, 2018 by Megan

From my daughter’s very first spelling test in first grade, I knew that she was going to struggle. And I knew that I was going to have to find ways to help her learn those spelling words. I soon realized that even though writing the words and spelling them aloud helped a little, in order for the spelling patterns to really solidify in her mind, my kinesthetic learner needed to be able to touch and manipulate the words. Here are some activities that we tried that really helped my struggling speller.

Spelling with Dough

Play Doh®, cookie dough, salt dough, and even bread dough are all perfect for forming letters and words. Start by having your children make a word family (like ar) and then ask them to add different letters to that base to make different words (like star or tar). Ask them questions like, “How could I change tar to make star?”

Spelling with Alphabet Cards

If you don’t want to bother with the mess of dough, you can do a similar activity with alphabet flash cards (you may need more than one set). Start again by asking your child to form the word family with the cards, and then add and subtract letters to make different words.

Spelling with Sand

For some reason, writing with a stick (or your finger) is way more fun than writing with a pencil. And erasing letters with your foot is much better than erasing with an actual eraser. So practice writing spelling words in the sand (or dirt). Your kids probably won’t even notice that they’re doing schoolwork!

My daughter learns best when she can touch and manipulate her environment, so making spelling a sensory activity has really helped her learn and remember her spelling lists. How do you help your children learn their weekly spelling words? I would love to hear your ideas in the comments below!

How My Family Benefited from Standardized Testing

January 10, 2018 by Megan

Have you ever wondered if your homeschooled child is falling behind? One of the challenges of homeschooling is that it is difficult to know whether or not your child is on track academically. I found this to be true in my own homeschool.

My two oldest children are different in almost every way possible. Their personalities are different, their hair color is different, their likes and dislikes are different—and their academic strengths are different. My firstborn learned to read quickly. When we sat down to read the phonics stories in K5, she always read them with ease and had no trouble answering the accompanying comprehension questions. By the end of K5, she was reading short chapter books. I had no worries about her academic performance—I knew she was excelling.

But then my second daughter started K5. Unlike her older sister, she struggled through those K5 phonics stories and word family lists. No matter how much we practiced, she didn’t seem to be catching on. And I began to get worried. Was she falling behind? Did she need a reading tutor? A different curriculum?

An Objective Measurement

Standardized testing was so helpful to me in this situation because it provided me with an objective measure of my daughter’s academic performance. Instead of comparing her performance with only her sister’s, the results compared my daughter with a much larger group of other kindergartners (called a norm). I felt like she was falling behind, but her standardized test results indicated that she was actually right on track.

A Sense of Assurance

You could compare doing standardized testing with getting a checkup at the doctor’s office. At those doctor’s visits, I’m always interested in knowing if my children are staying on their growth curve. Sometimes it doesn’t seem to me that they have gained much weight or gotten much taller, so it is always reassuring to me when my pediatrician shows me that they are still developing normally.

It’s the same with standardized testing. Such tests aren’t a perfect measurement, so they shouldn’t be the only assessment tool you use to evaluate your child’s academic performance. Throughout the year, you can also use chapter tests, section quizzes, lesson interactivity, and projects to evaluate learning. But yearly standardized testing can be very beneficial, especially when you need assurance that your child is staying on track.

Help in Identifying Academic Weaknesses

Standardized test scores are also useful because they help you discern if your child is falling behind. Since standardized tests are no-stakes tests, you don’t have to be afraid of poor test scores—they don’t mean that you’re a homeschool failure, just as a medical diagnosis doesn’t mean that you’ve failed as a parent. And low test scores don’t mean that your child is somehow unintelligent. They should only be viewed as opportunities for growth and improvement. If you need help knowing how to reinforce academically weak areas, your local HomeWorks consultant or a BJU Press representative is available to assist you.

My children and I really look forward to standardized testing each spring. For me, it’s an opportunity to give them an academic checkup. For them, it’s a chance to get together with friends and enjoy special snacks and extra playtime. Keep an eye out for Jenna’s next post, in which she will share some ideas for making testing fun and stress-free so it can be a great experience for everyone.

6 Gift Ideas Kids Can Make

December 14, 2017 by Megan

My husband and I have tried to teach our children since they were very young that Christmas is not all about them. First and foremost, it is about Christ. But this season does give us and our children a prime opportunity to practice loving our neighbors. We can show our love to family members, music teachers, Sunday school workers, and people in our neighborhood by giving them gifts for Christmas. My children have no difficulty coming up with a list of gift ideas for everyone, but they do have one problem—they lack money.

So, in order to participate in gift-giving, they have to be creative and make the gifts themselves. Here are some of our favorite do-it-yourself gift ideas. Most of these projects don’t involve any expensive materials and need little-to-no supervision.

1. Decorated Mugs

We tried making our own mugs for the first time this year, using the tutorial from 5mintesformom, and they came out great! I could hardly believe how easy and inexpensive they were to make. I bought the mugs for less than a dollar apiece at Walmart. The oil-based Sharpies are a little pricey, but they’re worth the investment because the water-based Sharpie ink washes off quickly.

2. Dish Towels

My three-year-old loved making dish towels for her grandparents this year. We loosely followed the instructions from icanteachmychild.com but skipped the part about using contact paper. My daughter enjoyed using a pencil eraser to make polka dots and a foam stamp to add butterflies. The flour-sack towels necessary for this project are available at Walmart for under a dollar each, so this also ends up being a very inexpensive gift.

3. Bookmarks

Any child who can sew on a button can make these adorable ribbon bookmarks featured on DYI Joy. They make perfect gifts for booklovers and can be completed very quickly with just a few supplies.

4. Coasters

A couple years ago, my children made coasters similar to the ones found on thefrugalgirls.com. We used tissue paper to make ours, but I love the idea of using photos.

5. Treats

Almost every year, my children and I make some special treats to give to our neighbors. We’ve made truffles like the ones on Snack Works using mint Oreos and dark chocolate for the coating. We’ve also made white chocolate pretzels like the ones on geniuskitchen.com.

6. Mixes

Mason jars filled with homemade chai tea mix (see the recipe on thekitchenismyplayground.com) or hot chocolate mix (see livingasunshinelife.com) are also great gift ideas. My kids like to help mix everything together and decorate the jars for the lucky recipients.

Does your family have any do-it-yourself gift ideas that you love to make and share? We would love to hear about your children’s creative adventures! Share a link or a photo in the comments below or tag us on Facebook or Pinterest.

Happy gift-making!

A Mother’s Nighttime Blessings

November 30, 2017 by Megan

A good night’s sleep—that elusive goal of every mom—often remains underappreciated by the general population. If you’re like me, you’ve spent many long nights feeding hungry babies, nursing sick children, and comforting little ones.

I distinctly remember the exuberant joy I felt the first time my firstborn slept five hours straight at night—an event worthy of a Facebook status update! But unfortunately, that wasn’t the end of the sleepless nights. My little girl soon started teething. Then came the occasional ear infections, coughing spells, and stomach bugs. Summer thunderstorms rolled in, and imaginary nighttime monsters peeked into rooms. Sleep became like a much-longed-for-friend who only occasionally came to visit.

Confession

And I have a confession to make: I love sleeping. So at first I resented being awakened at 2:00 a.m. by a screaming child. I longed to be able to push a “pause” button on mothering and snuggle under the covers for a good nap. But mothering, as you well know, does not fit into a tidy 8:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. schedule. It never stops.

I don’t think I will ever manage being woken at 2:00 a.m. with a smile on my face. But the Lord has been showing me how I can make the best of these unexpected wake-up calls.

Focus

Even though it is often more difficult in the nighttime hours, I can focus on exemplifying Christ to my children. Several times the Gospels tell us of how Christ had compassion on the multitudes even when He was physically weary. He never complained. He never sent them away. When I get up in the middle of the night to take care of my children, more than just being a good mom, I am living the love of Christ for them.

Additionally, these nighttime adventures provide me with more opportunities to fulfill the commandment of Deuteronomy 6:7 to talk to our children continually about God. When my little one is awakened from a nightmare or by a bad storm, I can comfort her with reminders that God is always watching over us, protecting His sons and daughters. When I’m rocking a sick child back to sleep, I can sing songs about God’s love and mercy.

And most of all, when I’m lacking sleep, I am continually reminded of my need to rely on the Lord’s strength. With countless other sleep-deprived moms, I echo the psalmist in Psalm 73:26, “My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.”

Ultimately, at the end of the long days that follow the sleepless nights, I am most blessed when I realize again that the Lord has sustained me.

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