I will never forget the day that I became a mom. I will always remember holding my tiny (5 lb., 2 oz.) daughter for the first time, seeing her slate-blue eyes gazing up at me, and watching her tiny mouth open wide for a big yawn. And I will never forget that first night. She screamed and screamed. I rocked her, paced back and forth in my hospital room, patted her, sang to her, and tried to feed her. Still she cried inconsolably. I cried too—from exhaustion, mainly! I also thought about many things that night. Some were not so profound—thoughts like “I can’t believe my husband can sleep though all this noise!” and “Will I ever get to sleep again?” But as I sang every hymn that I could remember, my thoughts turned to God and specifically my relationship with Him. And I will never forget how God ministered to my heart that long, long night.
That night, God reminded me that He is my Heavenly Father. And just like my newborn daughter was totally dependent on me, I am totally dependent on Him. Apart from God’s love, I would have nothing. He is the one who provides me with my daily bread. He provides me with clothing and shelter. He protects me from more dangers that I am ever aware of. He comforts me when I find myself distressed in the middle of the night (or during the day). And it’s all because He loves me—because I’m His.
My children are no longer babies, and they like to think that they’re independent. In fact, my two-year-old’s favorite phrase is “I do it!” I’m the same way too, sometimes. It amazes me how often I go about my day—teaching kids, cooking, doing piles and piles of laundry—without ever talking to God, without even acknowledging my dependence on Him. I often wonder how that makes Him feel? Does He stifle laughter as I often do when my independent two-year-old spills water all over her clothes in an attempt to pour a cupful for herself? Is He sad like I am when my child disobeys in order to do her own thing? Or does He shake His head in amazement that such a helpless creature as I could ever think that she’s wise enough to make her own decisions?
Being a mom is hard work; being a homeschool mom is even harder. But we never face the challenges alone! What a blessing to know that we have a heavenly Father who loves us and is willing and waiting to help us—if only we ask Him.
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