BJU Press Blog

parenting

I Am a Mom and a Teacher Too

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Girl sitting outside on a picnic blanket reading a book to her doll

As a stay-at-home mom of three, my days are filled with teaching moments. Today, I taught my oldest what kind of clothing is appropriate for playing outside in eighty-degree weather. I taught my preschooler how to respond when her baby sister pulls her hair. I taught my youngest that putting plastic beads in her mouth is a bad idea.

Some days, it seems like my children don’t listen to a thing I say. I don’t seem to be making any progress, and I wonder if I will always have to remind them to pick their clothes up off the floor, brush their teeth in the morning, and use a fork when eating their green beans.

But then there are moments when I get to silently observe my oldest two children at play. I watch them play with their dolls. Sometimes they are taking their “children” to church and sometimes they are feeding them a snack or putting them to bed. My daughters talk to their dolls, and, as I listen, I realize they sound exactly like me. Their words are like mine. Their tone is like mine. Their actions are like mine. It is then that I realize that they are listening. And they are learning from me, even when I don’t realize it.

It’s a little scary to realize that small people are constantly watching me and mimicking everything I do. What am I teaching them? I’m not just teaching them about how to do simple chores around the house, practice good hygiene, recognize their alphabet, and count to a hundred. I’m teaching them about life. I’m teaching them how to relate to other people. I’m teaching them what it means to be a Christian wife and mother.

I’m not perfect. There’s a lot about me that I hope my children will never mimic.  But teaching my children is not something that I can shy away from. My only hope is the only hope I need—God. More and more, I find myself on my knees begging for the grace and strength to lead my children in the paths of righteousness. I pray for the fortitude to get up and try again after yet another miserable failure. I pray for wisdom and discernment to know what and when to teach them. And God always answers. He always provides what I need.

As I write this, my children are napping. When they wake up we will have a snack and then take a walk to a nearby playground. As we walk, I will try to point out all the wonderful things that God created, but we will probably end up talking about whatever random things come to their minds. They might not let me talk at all. But even if I don’t speak a single word, I will be teaching. And they will be learning.

Early Start to Homeschool Kindergarten

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Learning the Alphabet
© iStockphoto.com/pkfawcett

Last fall, I had big plans for starting kindergarten with my daughter. Though not yet five years old, she had mastered the K4-level materials, so why not move on to K5 and give her a head start on life? On the other hand, I wondered if I would be robbing her of her childhood or setting her up for failure by beginning before she was ready. It was with these questions in mind that I asked advice from Carol, a mom who has twenty-five years of homeschool experience. While her family’s situation was slightly different from my own, I knew her insight would be valuable as my husband and I made this decision.

Carol began by explaining that we should approach this decision just like any other decision—by praying for wisdom. She said, “Carefully consider the reasons for the early start, make a good assessment to determine if the child is ready, get counsel and input from a few others you respect, use a good curriculum, and keep praying for wisdom. Don’t forget to have fun right along with your child!”

That struck me as perfect advice for parents of four- and five-year-olds. But I wasn’t sure what specifics I should look for to answer the question “Is my child ready for kindergarten?” Carol explained, “Some of the signs I looked for to gauge my daughter’s readiness for K5 included attention span, cooperation, motor skills, maturity level, and a desire to learn.”

These signs resonated with me because my daughter was still developing fine motor skills and maturity. Carol chose to start K5 with most of her children when they were five years old, but she began K5 with her youngest child when she was four. “After much prayer, seeking God’s wisdom, and confirmation from my husband,” Carol said, “I decided to begin K5 with my youngest child a couple months before she turned five years old. Many factors went into that decision, including her desire and enthusiasm to start K5, her success in completing K4, and my knowledge of the BJU Press K5 curriculum and experience of teaching it to my other children.” She added, “I definitely would not recommend beginning K5 at that age unless the child is ready. K5 should be a successful foundation, not a frustration. As it turned out, my daughter handled kindergarten very well.”

That curriculum helped Carol’s children enjoy learning. The education materials you choose will have a major impact on your child’s enjoyment of learning. “Each child is unique,” she said, “but all four of my children loved the BJU Press K5 curriculum and were very successful in accomplishing the objectives. They had fun learning and looked forward to school.”

Carol’s youngest is now in high school, so I asked how the early start in kindergarten had affected her daughter’s transition into later grades. Carol’s answer relieved some of my concerns. “Up through the end of eighth grade, she seemed ready for each successive grade emotionally, physically, and academically. Her scores on the Iowa Tests® have always been well above average and confirmed that she was ready to move on to the next grade level. Her transition into high school this year has been the first ‘hitch’ so far.”

Not exactly sure what caused the “hitch,” Carol’s been learning to trust God through it. She says, “My daughter has seemed overwhelmed at times with the amount of material covered in a day and also the number of quizzes and tests required. I’m not sure that this current bumpy road is due to the school grade as much as just adjusting to the teen years. It’s keeping this mom humble and praying and depending on God.”

After thinking through Carol’s advice and discussing the matter, my husband and I decided to wait on kindergarten. Our family situation this past year included a move and a new baby. So we continued to do preschool activities along with some basic reading instruction. My daughter loved learning how to read, but I’m thankful I held back on a full kindergarten program. The short and sweet period before formal schooling gave her time to develop her fine motor skills and to mature emotionally so that kindergarten will be less of a challenge and more of a joy.

Are You Ready to Start Homeschooling?

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Closeup of mother and her little girl coloring drawing 10415816
© iStockphoto.com/vgajic

I recently came across a copy of a homeschool magazine that contained a series of articles about homeschooling very young children (ages three to five). The articles all centered around one big question—at what age do you start homeschooling?

That is a big question, especially if you’ve never homeschooled before and your oldest child is three, four, or five, the age when most children around the country are starting preschool or kindergarten. Should you start this year? What if you wait a year or two—will your child fall behind?

There are a lot of different opinions about when a child should start school. Some educators seem to think “as early as possible,” thus the creation of programs such as Head Start® and other preschools. Other educators think it is best to wait as long as possible. There are homeschoolers at every point along that spectrum. Why? Each child is unique, and each family situation is unique.

Here are some questions to help you determine if you’re ready to begin homeschooling.

1. What does your state law require?

Your state homeschool laws may require you to register as a homeschooler and start instruction when your child reaches a certain age. Some require attendance records and/or other “proof” of homeschooling. Do some research or contact the Homeschool Legal Defense Association (HSLDA) to find out what your state requires. A friend of mine, Cindy, started homeschooling her children when each of them was five. Her only reason for doing so was that her state’s law required it. She said that otherwise she would have waited until they were older.

2. Do you plan to homeschool long-term?

Another friend of mine, Mary, started homeschooling her son with a preschool curriculum when he was four. She and her husband weren’t completely sure about homeschooling and were considering placing their son in a private Christian school for kindergarten. But she wanted to give homeschooling a try. She also wanted to make sure that their homeschool ran at a similar pace as the Christian school so that her son wouldn’t be behind if they decided to enroll him later.

3. How comfortable are you with homeschooling?

Sue also started homeschooling her four-year-old. She didn’t have any training or experience teaching, so although she was convinced that homeschooling was the best option for her family, she was really nervous about it. She began with a preschool curriculum when her daughter was four because she wanted to do a “trial run” before starting kindergarten material.

4. What’s going on in your life right now?

Although Rachel’s son is almost five, she has decided to wait another year to start homeschooling him. Her family is anticipating a move and a new baby within the next few months, so she and her husband have decided that homeschooling would add too much to their already stressed household.

So are you ready? Even if you are, your child might not be. Next week, I’m going to be giving some tips on how to assess whether your child is ready to start homeschooling.

How to Apply Deuteronomy 6

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a woman with a Bible opened to Deuteronomy 6 taking notes

In a six-part series, we explored family devotions—the importance of it as well as ways to structure the time, to overcome obstacles, and to keep the gospel central. A regular family devotions time enables us to systematically disciple our children in “the whole counsel of God” (Acts 20:27 NKJV). But God’s Word should so permeate our hearts and minds that we naturally talk about it throughout the day with our children (Deuteronomy 6:4-9).

God’s command to the Israelites to teach their children His words is reiterated to believers in the New Testament. After instructing children to obey and honor their parents as taught in the Ten Commandments, the apostle Paul admonished parents, “Do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4 NKJV).

In order to diligently teach God’s Word to our children, we must first treasure it in our own hearts (Deuteronomy 6:6). When we are deepening our love for the Lord and saturating our minds with His Word, talking to our children about the things of the Lord will be a regular overflow. In an effort to be more intentional, for a few months I kept a journal about opportunities I had to point my children to the Lord during normal events of the day.

Here are some entries from my journal. These moments are not intended to be replicated but to be examples of implementing Deuteronomy 6 teaching in day-to-day life. Many of my journal entries include analogies (tying a life event or an item in creation to a spiritual truth). As you share, seek to be gospel-centered.

Journal of Deuteronomy 6 Teachable Moments

  • Tuesday: My young children got scared and ran to me when there was a loud series of fire alarm tests in our apartment building. When we are afraid, we run to someone stronger, and that should ultimately be the Lord. I reminded the kids that God is in control and that He is with us. We talked about how a fire alarm is good because it warns us of a fire so we can escape. God’s Word has fire alarms, warning us about the lake of fire and how to escape the punishment for our sins through trusting in Jesus.
  • Wednesday: My child confessed doing something wrong while I wasn’t watching. We talked about how God always sees us, even when Mommy isn’t looking. We can’t get away with secret sin. Through a song, we’ve learned this verse: “The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good” (Proverbs 15:3 NKJV).
  • Thursday: We were playing in a room where the curtains were closed. We talked about how there was a curtain in the temple separating the holy place from the most holy place. When Jesus died, that curtain was torn in two (at that point, we flung open the curtains), symbolizing the access we have to the Father because the flesh of Jesus was torn on the cross for our sins (Matthew 27:51; Hebrews 10:19–22).

I no longer keep a journal of my Deuteronomy 6 opportunities, but perhaps I’ll begin writing them down again if I find myself falling into complacency. Teaching my children diligently must spring from a heart that is captivated with the glory and grace of the Lord and saturated with a personal knowledge of His Word.

May the Lord bless you with wisdom as you seize the opportune, fleeting moments to teach your children along the way. “From childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 3:15 NKJV).

Family Devotions (Part 6)

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As we teach our children the Scripture during family devotions, we must not miss the main point, which is the gospel, the good news of God’s redeeming plan through Christ. The Bible isn’t merely a book of character-building stories to orient a child’s moral compass; rather, it uncovers our spiritual bankruptcy before a holy God and reveals our wonderful Savior and Lord Jesus Christ.

While the gospel is central, there’s a reason the Bible isn’t a four-point salvation presentation in tract form. We ought not to ignore any of God-breathed Scripture, all of which is “profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16–17, ESV). Even the genealogies, long and tedious as they can be, show the authenticity of the Bible’s history and the faithfulness of God in preserving the line of Christ.

image of a family sitting around having devotions

Law, history, poetry, and prophecy in the Old Testament also serve a purpose.

Law

Passages on the law of God point our children to God’s perfection, our inability to meet God’s righteous demands, and the Lamb of God, who perfectly fulfilled the law and shed His blood for our sin “that we might be justified by faith” (Galatians 3:24 NKJV). God gives new hearts so believers have the power to obey the imperatives given in the New Testament (1 John 2:3–4, 3:9).

History

The historical books in the Bible dramatically tell our children the story line of redemption, as each character and every event bring us closer to the climax of Christ’s coming. The New Testament writers demonstrated how the Old Testament characters showed our need for Jesus and salvation by faith:

  • Adam and Eve: Romans 5:12–21
  • Cain and Abel: Hebrews 11:4
  • Noah: Hebrews 11:7
  • Abraham: Galatians 3
  • Moses: Romans 10:5–10
  • David: Acts 2:25–36

Poetry

The Bible’s unsurpassed poetry reveals God’s character and works. The worshipful psalms and instructive proverbs teach our children the fear of the Lord, which is the beginning of wisdom (Psalm 111:10). Such reverence should drive them to be reconciled with God through the cross. On the cross, the sinless Christ bore our sin and then rose from the dead in victory over sin and death, granting eternal life to all who turn to Him in repentance and faith.

Prophecy

Reading the books of prophecy with our children reveals man’s stony heart and need for God to give a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26). This regeneration was made possible through the perfect life, death, and resurrection of the Messiah. Detailed prophecies pinpointed the person and work of Christ, hundreds of years before He fulfilled them.

As we engage our children in family devotions, we must remember that our children aren’t born with neutral hard drives that simply need to be programmed with the right software. They’re born with the deadly virus of a sin nature passed on from our first father Adam. That’s why Jesus said we must be born again (John 3:3–8).

We can’t cause this change of heart in our children, so that they repent and believe in the Lord Jesus. But we can be faithful to pray for them and teach them through family devotions, so that they when they’re grown, we can remind them of their biblical heritage (2 Timothy 3:14–15).

May the Lord grant us grace in the task of family discipleship. What a privilege we parents have to lead our little ones to the Savior!

Read the previous family devotions posts.