BJU Press Blog

Ben

3 Ways Dads Can Lead in Homeschooling

by

Photo of family members in home setting doing homework.

“Mom’s the teacher, and I’m the principal; she teaches, and I foot the bills.” When I was growing up as a homeschool kid, I heard several homeschool dads humorously relate this sentiment. As dads, we know we’re supposed to take the leadership role in homeschooling, so we put on the mantle of a school administrator. Even though we’re not usually engaged in the day-to-day homeschooling of our children, we end up paying the bills for the cost of education and thus feel that we’ve checked off our responsibility.

God gives fathers the responsibility of bringing up children in the nurture of the Lord. When it comes to the stuff of education, we have a tremendous opportunity to lead and partner with our wives in the homeschooling of our children. Scripture gives us as dads three specific responsibilities related to our wives and children.

  • To love our wives by sacrificing for them (Ephesians 5:25)
  • To live with our wives in an understanding way by listening to them (1 Peter 3:7)
  • To take responsibility for our children’s development (Ephesians 6:4)

Here are three ways we can lead our families in homeschooling.

1. Setting the priorities

Homeschooling provides our families with unlimited opportunities, and we need priorities to determine which opportunities should be labeled “good,” “better,” or “best.” When my wife and I were first married, we enjoyed discussing all the activities we wanted our future children to be involved in such as art, sports, community outreach, music, speech, and debate.

Now that we have three children and our oldest will soon be the age when she can begin participating in some of these additional activities, we’ve realized that there’s only so much time during a week. So we’ve prioritized. When T-ball sign-up came along, we declined.

On the other hand, my wife and I believe that biblical-worldview-based curriculum materials are a non-negotiable. We’ve made that the most important point in evaluating educational options for our family. This is our family’s choice, and you may have different priorities. Here are some priorities to consider:

  • Biblical-worldview-based curriculum materials
  • Curriculum for main academic subjects
  • Bible courses
  • Music and arts
  • Volunteering
  • Sports

Know your priorities and let them guide your decision-making.

2. Finding the best approach

I remember walking around the vendor hall at homeschool conferences when I was a kid. Even then, families had a wide variety of curriculum choices. Today, husbands and wives can be overwhelmed by the multitude of choices available as various vendors tout the success of their products. Where to begin?

Begin with your family’s educational philosophy or approach. Over the past thirty years, homeschoolers have innovated or rediscovered a variety of educational approaches. There’s everything from unschooling to classical education. As families, we need to evaluate these approaches and choose the one that will be the foundation of our homeschooling. There are different ways a dad can be involved in setting a direction.

If your wife eagerly embraces homeschooling:

  • Support her by listening to her ideas
  • Ask questions so that you understand
  • Be able to explain your family’s approach so that you can own your children’s education
  • Prepare to fund materials that fit the approach

If your wife is overwhelmed by homeschooling:

  • Ask questions so that you understand her concerns
  • Research educational programs and share your findings
  • Listen to her responses
  • Choose your family’s approach together but remember who will be doing the day-to-day teaching

Don’t be passive. It’s your children’s future. Get involved and stay involved.

3. Stepping in when there are challenges

I remember the day I fought my mom all day over a math concept. I was getting every problem wrong, and I had the wrong attitude. When Dad got home, my exasperated mom asked for help. He got involved, and it made a huge difference—for everyone. As dads, we need to step in when things come up. Here are ways you can step in:

  • Know your own strengths and weaknesses as well as your wife’s
  • Maintain your children’s respect for their mother
  • Help teach or tutor a specific subject
  • Do a household job so that your wife can set up a hands-on activity
  • Encourage your wife to continue on with the educational program at the first signs of trouble but speak up when you know it’s not working
  • Take the kids for a day so that your wife can regroup

Homeschooling is a challenge. Be alert to ways you can sacrifice for your wife and help your children grow.

My Commitment to Biblical Worldview Education

by

family reading the Bible together

As a dad, I’ve appreciated Karin’s posts on family devotions. Family worship offers me the opportunity to disciple my children with intentionality. As I gather my three daughters daily to read God’s Word, I’m trying to obey the command in Deuteronomy 6:7 to “teach them diligently.” So it’s encouraging to hear about others practicing family worship and to learn that they’re experiencing (and overcoming) the same difficulties.

Of course, our obligation to diligently teach our families to love God isn’t fulfilled in a routine Bible time. We’re supposed to teach God’s Word when we’re sitting, when we’re walking, when we’re lying down, and when we’re waking up. It’s an all-day, every-day commitment.

For my girls, a large part of their daily life is education, so it’s important to me that their education is contributing to their discipleship. In fact, since education is worship, I want to give my daughters a biblical worldview education.

Education Is Worship

It’s easy to look at teaching kids how to subtract or read as “neutral.” After all, 2 + 2 = 4 whether you’re a Christian, a Buddhist, or an atheist. But education is far too foundational an undertaking to occur without a purpose. From age five to eighteen, my girls will spend over fourteen thousand hours learning math, science, history, and language arts. All of that effort has to be for a purpose, or it’s a waste of time. Even children know that education needs a purpose. While answering their twenty-three math problems, they will ask the critical question: “Why do I have to learn this?”

In his book The End of Education: Redefining the Value of School, Neil Postman observed that education is worship when he said, “For school to make sense, the young, their parents, and their teachers must have a god to serve, or even better, several gods.” He argues that American public schools are dedicated to serving, among others, the god of consumerism. Worshipers of consumerism learn so that they can get jobs and buy the best cars, houses, and vacations. If Postman, who was a secular humanist, sees the religious nature of education, we Christian dads need to think through the worship implications of the education choices we make for our children.

The Purpose of Education

After my wife and I got engaged, we would take long walks where we’d discuss how we planned to run our household. Since both of us received a biblical worldview education, we wanted this same education for our children. It was and still is important to us that we teach our children to glorify God and love their neighbor as themselves through math, science, history, and language arts. My daughters need to know that math isn’t the key to financial security and prosperity; it’s a tool God gives us to obey His commands. That context is crucial for using education to serve God instead of the god of consumerism. If I am going to obey Deuteronomy 6:7, I have to diligently teach my daughters that the purpose of their education is serving God.

Before I was born, my dad determined that his children would be homeschooled so that they could receive a biblical worldview education. I owe so much to my dad for that gift. Now as a dad, I want to teach my daughters that worshiping God isn’t limited to Sunday church services. We serve God through the right kind of education; therefore, my wife and I are committed to providing our daughters with a biblical worldview education.